how do i know other guys are serious about me?

[Emilee]

So I thought one of my guy friends really, really liked me, because he did stuff like carrying me and sitting me on his lap and constantly snuggling with me or putting his arm around me or saying he adored me...and he said there was a pretty good chance we'd start dating so after awhile I asked him out, and, long story short, it turns out he was pretty much leading me on the whole time, but I SWORE he liked me a lot, because of the way he acted...now I'm afraid that the next time a guy likes me and flirts with me, I won't trust him. He could be crazy about me and I still wouldn't give him the time of day because I'm afraid I'll fall for this trap again and the next guy would just be leading me on and wouldn't really like me...I know this is gonna sound dumb, but is there any "easy" way of trusting guys/knowing if a guy is seriously into me or just leading me on? All answers appreciated! Thanks so much!!

[Bloom Shadows]

I'm cynical so I'm tempted to say that they never are.

But if he shared affection, without sex... he probably does adore you but is as terrified about official commitment as you are now.

If a guy doesn't try to get into your pants, I'd say there's better chances.

Everyone is afraid, even the people in dating site looking for serious relationships can only be there to email... they end up losing hope and are too cozy in the process, they lost sight of their goal: meeting. Only holding on to hope safely behind their screens...

It's very difficult and I think smart phones and social media only made it harder to get on with something live and real...

Maybe you can tell him that you like him a lot, respect if he's not ready for a relationship, but need to know if he's just toying with you or if he'd be open to make it official... I wouldn't cuddle with anybody, I can't stand being touched... but if I cuddle it doesn't mean I'm ok for more... But I'd kill for a cuddle buddy XD Especially one who won't harass me for sex.

So, you can ask them from the start what they are looking for, ready for... but people can change their mind... usually for the worst, so don't cling to false hope... and never wait for a violent boyfriend to stop hitting you, just run! But a maybe can turn into a yes as much as a no... and when we meet new people... actually even married it's never settled in stone forever...

So yes, that's confusing... good luck with that. Usually saying what you want, asking them what they want, and after a while sharing feedback on how you feel about compatibility would be a must.

In one word: communication!