How do you get a social life?

[hello!]

Hello!
I just wanted to ask for some advice, and I'm asking you to please read through the background to my issue here thoroughly, and if you're just out to get some points, leave.
I'm asking everybody to please not give me any rude answer, or something that doesn't help at all (e.g "just be confident or be yourself idk..."). That is not gonna help me, so if you wanna troll around on Yahoo! Answers, find a troll question and troll that one, I'm asking you nicely to not do it on this one.
Thanks!

Anyways, a little background. I used to live in a really small town in the middle of nowhere. I never really liked it, since that kind of environment is boring and not stimulating/motivating enough (IN MY OPINION!). It was really shitty to be honest, yet I survived there for almost 16 years.
Here's how I would describe my social life there: 3 or 4 friends, boring, not a single person to text or hang around with on my free time, nobody really cared about me, I was the "uninteresting" and perhaps "weird kid". This has a little bit to do with my experiences there, and frankly, the people were NOT nice there. This held me back so I never really had a real social life. I had no social life, so I can impossibly have any experience in this area.

Things have started changing however. I moved to a bigger city, and I immediately noticed that the mentality of people here is a lot different. In my new school (let's just call it my country's equivalent of your American high schools) there are plenty of nice people. They're not so "hostile", like they were in some way in that rural place I lived in. I definitely talk more to people, and I generally like living here better.

My problem is though, I don't know what to do next. The school started in August, but I have no "REAL" friends (although I do talk, that's not the problem). Since I have little to no social experience, I'm just "stuck" :/
How can I develop relations with people in a very smooth way, without being weird? How can I get to know some folks better? Perhaps make some friends that you can hang around with on free time?
In my new school, sometimes I'm still alone at the breaks. I still have NOBODY for my free time or even texting on the phone! What is next?

Also, I would like some tips on socializing with the opposite gender. I used to have bad confidence around girls, and basically in general too, but I think my confidence has improved slightly. Since I moved here, I care less about what people think.
But I just don't know how you can approach 3 or more girls from the class without being "weird" (I mean C'mon, we've never really talked a whole lot on breaks!). What is the secret to this?
Someone would say confidence, but fuck, you DO come off as weird if you start talking about something completely random with girls you've barely socialized with!

Final questions, I'm asking these regarding Facebook.
It wasn't long ago I didn't even had a Facebook (what would be the point, I was an isolated loner!). Can you perhaps socialize over this (BESIDES liking each others pictures)? And is it "weird" to have 54 friends on Facebook? I freaking don't know anyone here, and that's kind of a disadvantage. I have no connections to people because I just moved here. Adding people from school would be weird as hell if we hadn't socialized at least once.

That's basically it. If you want to know, I'm 16 and a guy. Sorry if I come across as negative, I really am not. There are problems in my life I wanna tweak, but I look forward to a bright future and the move to this city has really improved my general mood!

Thanks!

[jackiecandlestick]

The best advise I can give you, as a guy who was pretty shy myself, is to join a club or group in which you have an interest. Guess what? The other people in that group will also have that interest and that gives you something in common on which to begin to build a relationship. Approaching girls cold takes a type of charisma which I never had, and if you did, you would not be writing this, so you need to work from a position of a shared interest. Join choir, science club, high C, speech, sports, of theater. Theater may be great for you as you get to practice interacting with people as someone else (playing a role, remember). This may surprise you, but many actors are actually shy and insecure and were the "weird" kids in school (Matt Damon talked about himself this way). The very basics of comedy are built on insecurity. An important thing to remember is that you are not alone! About 10% to 15% of people describe themselves as painfully shy in school. That is a larger number than the kids on honor roll.

[Jared]

Your introduction would seem to claim that you are anti-social, so at least this isn't a cry for attention.

Also, it does come across as negative, seeing that you're judging before even letting anybody speak. The fact that you know what a troll is or that you know people spend time on Yahoo! Answers to get free points tells me that you spend a lot of time on the internet. I would only know this because I too, spend a lot of time on the internet.

The few people who actually gave a damn and took the time to read through your story and give you an answer should be appreciated. Keep that in mind.

I lived in a small town as well. In fact, I still do. Everybody sucks here, too. It's not just you. The only person who I'm friends with here is someone who is slow in the head, but is courteous enough not to act like an idiot around me or in public.

Take it from me. Learn to enjoy being around yourself by yourself. If you cannot enjoy yourself and rely on others to entertain you, your life is going to spiral down into the world of chaos. If you can't enjoy yourself, how are others going to enjoy you?

Find people worth getting to know, like someone who is kind to people or someone who makes you laugh. Look for traits in people that will suit your preferences.

Want to get to know people better without coming off as weird or annoying? Start with "Hello." I don't know exactly why, but "Hello" actually tells the brain to "Come over here and we'll converse about whatever." Ask people questions. People love to talk about themselves, and you know you've found a good friend or possible relationship when they start asking you questions as well. Don't tell people your life story like you've done here, just keep it short and simple. The less you talk, the better results you'll get. Giving gifts to people you like never hurts either. Even if it's just a stick of gum. Gum is very popular in high school.

Want to make friends you can call and hang out with? After conversing with someone and you're convinced that this person would make a good "potential" friend. Get your cell phone out and go to the contacts list. Then make an empty contact and hand them your phone saying "Here's my phone..." and once they look at the empty contact entry, they will know it's their queue to enter in their information. Not only will you get their name spelled correctly, but you get a friend as well. I've tested this theory and I've gotten friends and even gone out on dates with this technique.

Never go up and talk to girls while they're in groups. Pretend to be a stalker for a moment and seek them out when they're alone. Going up in groups, you better have a suit on or pull up in a fancy car or you're going to get the look of death. Also, never try to talk to a girl when she's busy.

Initiate a conversation when she's:
- Lounging around somewhere
- At the mall
- At a club
- In the grocery store
- At a party

Never start a conversation when she's:
- In a hurry
- Working
- With her friends

Most girls are shy, and they want a man to come up and show interest. Why in the hell would I do that? Just so she gets to decide whether to reject me or not? Screw that. If the girl wants to be with you bad enough, she will come up and talk to you, or at least stare at you like Michael Jackson would stare at a five year old.

I won't talk about Facebook. Screw Facebook it's a fake form of socializing. Delete your account. It takes a week and you'll have to Google the answer to find out how to delete it because it's not so easy.

Last notes, keep yourself groomed. Get some good shoes, wear jeans or slacks and a dress shirt everywhere you go. Buy "Obsession for Men" cologne. Girls love it. My current girlfriend of 1 1/2 years now goes into her room and smells her hair when I wear it. And she has asthma so it doesn't bother their noses at all.

You're welcome. Tweak your attitude and you'll do just fine. From one anti-social person to another, take care.