My ex gives me too much stress!!?

[Priya]

I am a 22 years old girl. 4 years back i have been in love with my schoolmate. He used to tell me even he had feelings for me but he never made me feel the same. At the beginning we were happy. The problem started when both of us were into different places for studies. And then he started ignoring me, my calls, my msgs and whenever he used to talk, it was about some other girls in his college. I was really depressed. He used to say he is busy and I find him on facebook commenting on his friends posts and all. It continued for 2 years and i finally gave up loving him after 2 years of complete stress and depression. i liked some other guy who loves me so much. And then my school mate has come back again and he wants me to be in relationship again. I never felt the same with him again. I said the same thing to him. Now i really dont have any feelings on my schoolmate. I dont want to talk to him anymore. But these days I talk to him as a good friend with the fear that he may go into depression and spoil his career. One of his friends pleaded me to do so. But this guy he is trying to put limits to my interests. He tells me what to do and what not to do. If I go online, he just starts putting satires. He says me not to waste time and go and study. I already told him I don’t love him anymore and I like somebody in my college. Then he did the most stupid thing. He has created a fake account and started talking to this other guy whom I like. He comes and tells me what type of a person he is. He says that this guy is just using me in the name of love. I was very stressed and frustrated. He has hurt me and insulted me infront of his friends, when I loved him to the core. I have given him a number of chances in 2 years. And after 2 years of complete tears and sleepless nights, I have moved on and he comes and tells me how to live my life X(
And the worst thing is I can’t say him how stressed and irritated he is making me feel, because if I do so , he would behave so depressed that I myself feel lost and depressed and very much stressed . I don’t want to be atleast his friend now. But I am talking to him only due to the fear that he might go into depression and spoil his career.
On the other side i have hurt the other guy soo much However we are together again We like talking to each other very much. Sometimes we fight over small things and however we be normal again. We are something more than friends and less than lovers . I love being with this guy
My problem is my ex. Please suggest me how to let him know how stressed he is making me feel and how can he stop bothering me and think about his future… please

[Hoshiai]

I've had an ex like this. You just have to calmly tell him that it is time for you both to move on completely. If you are seriously worried about him being suicidal or something to that degree, then try and get in touch with someone in his family or the police even and share your concerns. But, you can't let this ex hold up your life.

[smart pixies]

It's good that u r concerned abt your ex's future and life and u r trying hard only fir his betterment.
You have done so much for him but what u got back is depression and problems in ur love life through this guy...I understand ur concern but my thoughts on this is that you must take a strong step and clearly tell ur ex that u have moved on in ur life and wish the same for him , which is something u have done already and try disconnecting ur self from him.... I know u r thinking abt consequences but this is also true that If we like something and it's around us we will surely try getting it again and again coz we want it anyhow..but if the thing is not around we look for alternatives....!
I think the chances of him going into depression and trying out a wrong stuff r less coz if he was so serious and possessive abt u he wouldn't have behaved the way he did in past..! Depression and stuff like that occurs only and only when u r madly in love with someone or rather obsessed by the person
But your explanation rules out this possibility completely still for safety and precaution you can contact to his friends as they are the biggest support one can have in such situation...! Talk with them and let them takeover this responsibility of being with him and divert his mind to other things in life..!
Hope this advice helps you and u come out of this situation soon happily!
Regards

[Aditya]

Pity of you. I guess you have really suffered from a great Stress! But you have to move on! That's a part of life isn't it? Sometimes you have to take the tough decisions for a good cause. Its really good for both you and him. Try speaking with him and compromise, if he can't you must avoid him. For him it would be very painful at first, but as the time passes he will adjust himself and life will keep him to move along. Any ways, All the best for you guys for a great future! Both of you!

[Pratish]

Priya, your ex is stressing you so much because you let him. Take a tough stand. There is no need for you to be mother teresa and guide him. He is a selfish dumbfuck who doesnt care about his career and more importantly doesnt care about you. Give him an ultimatum that you longer want to see him. Demean him, humiliate him (not in public) tell him everything you hate about him. Dont do it in person either coz if he gets emo even you will feel guilty. And say goodbye. Block him from all social networking sites. If he has any self respect he will fall back.

[dating]

"It continued for 2 years and i finally gave up loving him after 2 years of complete stress and depression"

It took you 2 years? You could've made another guy's year (not day) in the mean time.

"And then my school mate has come back again and he wants me to be in relationship again."

He's a player. He just wants physical. Leave him. He ignored you right.

"But these days I talk to him as a good friend with the fear that he may go into depression and spoil his career"

No no... he never got into depression in the last 2 years. Why now?

"He says that this guy is just using me in the name of love."

http://pastebin.com/f1JdmkEq

"And after 2 years of complete tears and sleepless nights, I have moved on and he comes and tells me how to live my life"

You should've done it earlier.

"he would behave so depressed that I myself feel lost and depressed and very much stressed"

Nice actor!!

You got to ignore him the same way you ignored him. Teach him a lesson. Learn the joys of REVENGE!! BTW he wont feel anything at all. He's just a player, he's just pretending.

Please help others also --

http://in.answers.yahoo.com/question/ind...847AAOe89o

Cause you're in my age group, I would really like you to answer this one too --

http://in.answers.yahoo.com/question/ind...524AADmdVp

[sulekha]

If you are seriously worried about him being suicidal or something to that degree, then try and get in touch with someone in his family or the police even and share your concerns.

[Visualmother414]

DEAR PRIYA,

U LIKE BEING HAPPY OR NOT??? ITS UPTO YOU ONLY DEAR.

DONT CARE ABOUT HIM AND ENJOY UR LIFE . MAKE URSELF SO STRONGER THAT NO MATTER WHAT HE SAYS U BE HAPPY.

LET HIM WHAT HE LIKES TO DO. MAKE URSELF BUSY IN SOME WORK AND TALK WITH HIM LESS FREQUENTLY AND LEAVE HIM SLOWLY SLOWLY. HE WILL NEVER SUICIDE OR SOMETHING. THATS A GUARANTEE!! HE IS NOT IN DEEP LOVE WITH U THAT HE WILL EVER SUICIDE. UNDERSTAND DEAR . DONT GET EMOTIONAL.

JUST BE WITH UR NEW FRIEND ENJOY AND DONT CARE ABOUT THE OLD ONE. WHATEVER THE OLD ONE SAYS DONT PAY ATTENTION TO IT AND NEVER TALK ABOUT HIM IN FRONT OF NEW ONE.

U HAVE TO BE HAPPY THEN ONLY U CAN GIVE HAPPINESS TO NEW ONE.

LET OLD ONE DO WHATEVER HE DO. HE NEVER LOVED U AND WILL ONLY DRAMATIZE IN FRONT OF U TO MAKE U FIGHT WITH NEW ONE.

THST ENTIRELY YOUR CHOICE. NOONE CAN HELP U. ONLY U URSELF CAN.

DONT THINK NEGATIVE ABOUT OLD ONE ALSO. BE POSITIVE AND LEAVE HIM IN A VERY PLANNED WAY AND SLOWLY SLOWLY.

WHEN U R WITH NEW ONE AND THE OLD ONE CALLS OR WHATEVER , TELL HIM DEAR I AM BUSY RIGHT NOW. NOT IN A HURTING SENSE.

JUST DONT CARE

[suresh p]

Try to explain to your ex bf that now I have no feelings for you
like it was before. Now, I am in love with other guy and please
leave me alone. And be selfish because when you were in
trouble he didn't help you to come out from depression. So,
simply leave him.