Can I trust my boyfriend after he lied to me?

[Liv]

My boyfriend of just over 1 year, was recently in a band. He is 18 and the band members were 17, my boyfriend is working full time, and the rest of the band are college students. There seemed to be a lot of friction between the band and I, as they always wanted my boyfriend with them to practice and have ''boys nights'', and I always wanted my boyfriend because, well, I love him! The deal was that they had three practice nights a week, Monday, Wednesday and Saturday, I thought that was fair enough. Over time however, it started to become more often that he would see them, Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays were when I saw him, he began seeing them every Friday night for boys nights on top of all their practice days which upset me, as he would cancel our plans to see them instead. I started thinking I was seen as second best and got very upset and brought myself down. One day after a very big fallout between us, because he had seen the band, Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday! I couldn't see him on Sunday as I was visiting family in the North. I asked him to see me on the Saturday and skip band practice or I wouldn't be please, he said yes and said he would not go to band practice. He turned up to my house on that Saturday, late, so I was suspecting he had visited band practice for an hour or so without telling me. I asked him and he said no, I also asked if the band knew he was with me and he said yes, they knew. Later on that day, I texted one of his band mates girlfriends, as I am good friends with her, I did a bit of snooping and found out that my boyfriend HAD gone to practice for an hour, and had told the band that he was seeing his mother! I was very upset as that meant to me that he didn't respect me enough to tell me the truth, or see me without going to practice at all, or tell the band that I was in fact the reason he was going. I felt as though I wasn't a good enough reason to him.
Anyway, the band mates girlfriend told her boyfriend that my boyfriend was with me, and they were mad at him for lying. I confronted my boyfriend about everything and he lied until I told him how I knew the truth, he finally admitted to all of his lies. I felt betrayed and hurt. The band kicked him out and he cried and apologized to me, but now, even though it was a small lie, how do I know he hasn't lied to me in the past, or will lie to me in the future, but worse? He has lost my trust.
Also, the band always talked about me behind my back and said nasty things on their band chat on Facebook (I snooped around on my boyfriends Facebook account as I knew his details) my boyfriend never defended me or told them to stop, one time out of all of them, he joined in! He even said "She needs to be more like [name] -.-" [name] is the other band mates girlfriend. I was very hurt.

It could have all been that he was immature and wanted to look good in front of his horrible friends, or he was scared of them, so never did anything about anything...

Now that he has been kicked out, the band are also nasty to him and my boyfriend is doing better with me. But I still don't know whether his lying is an immaturity thing, or a big forever flaw in his personality? He seems to have learnt from what came of him lying though, it was a very dramatic lesson for him.

What do you think?

[Marina]

.Sorry to hear that, you're boyfriend sounds very immature.

[Boudicca]

How come, if the band were so "tight" as friends that he wasn't allowed a girlfriend, that the other members had girls? Huh? Your boyfriend is just a spineless dick who was with them to suck up to them. They knew this which is why they bullied him. They basically demanded his attention 100% and wouldn't tolerate him having anything else that was important to him. Like you. And he let them do this. He would rather have their good opinion than have you. Now he no longer has them he needs you to fall back on. You are very much his second option and not the person he would rather be with. He is using you to avoid being alone.
This might seem ok, until he gets an obsession for someone else. His boss maybe. And he lets that person bully him out of having a life with you, too. Every time he will choose what someone else wants over you. Your only choice is to walk away, or take control over him your self. He's bent out of shape and feels happier when he is dominated.