What to do if you find out your daughter is watching porn?

[Nikki]

I put her on punishment after she refused to do her chores for 3 days i told her to give me her ipod, phone and laptop and she did so but they all had passwords on them. I knew she was hiding something from me because the other day i went in her room to collect the laundry she exited out the tabs and stared at the google pg the whole time. She never gave me her passwords so i googled how to unlock a ipod/phone. I give my daughter her privacy. This was my 1st time checking herstuff. I never snoop on her facebook,or anything. Anyway, i found some pictures of people in her phone. I asked who they were she kept quiet. I discovered that she had a texting app called "Kik" so i went through her messages. She was in a chat with this girls and this guy i asked her who they were she said idk like she had no clue. I also discovered that she has a porn tumblr where she posted porngraphic stuff.She also had pictures of male "body parts" as well as "female body parts" and i don't mean legs, arms, etc. i mean the private areas....i went on her laptop history and saw porno sites websites like.I asked her how did she find that stuff she said a friend showed her. It was all basically pornographic things.I also saw that she made a nude instagram where posted pics of other peoples private areas.I still haven't gave her her things back.I'm going to give them back slowly,one at a time.I just can't believe it. I told her father he said he knew I asked him why he never told me he said because it's nothing bad.I was so angry at him!!! Anyway, the question is what to do??? My daughter is very disobedient so if I say "dont watch porn, its bad" she'll do it anyway.Should I do counseling??? Please help!!! I'm a very confused mom she is my only child. I'm only 35 years old. She is 14,btw.
The pictures posted on the Instagram were not her's, they we're someone elses..She said she knows better then to post that stuff

[Aaliyah]

As a mother you try to respect your child but trusting them is never so easy. Approach her about this and ask her why she does these things. But don't give in or show her sympathy otherwise she will get away with it over and over hope this helps x

[Jevana]

That's normal for kids that age to watch porn. but not posting pictures of herself naked, that's illegal and gross. Explain to her that if people at her school found out they would bully her. Take down all her nude pictures and her tumblr account.
I don't think there's any point in preventing her from watching porn now that she's already seen it but tell her that stuff that happens in porn isn't normal and that most of it is fake .

[Rynn]

As a mother i dont mean to be rude You have every right to go through her laptop .. but her phone is a bit to much .. Me and my mum have boundaries She knows I watch porn I masturbate she knows this … The dirty pics i would confront her about but .. A girl watching porn is normal She might masturbate to it

[gintare]

just talk with her .Something is going on in her life .Maybe a boyfriend,or she needs attention,or not that great friends giving her all these ideas.

[Jose Gonzalez]

I will say honestly, please lets have a talk about this and not only about this about everything else. Bacause honestly we all at point in our life did it, so explain to her in your own words its better you explain than the friend who showed her. For me watching porn its not a really big deal, just listen to her why she is doing it and why. I think after that you come with a solution to this issue. And please quality time it matters it seems that you dont communicate with your daughter at all, this is the right time to be there for her she is curiuos about everything at this age. Better be you explaining rather than a friend and who knows what type of friend. Good luck with her and pay attention to her listen let her know that you are her friend.

[Tumblr]

She's curious, so what? She isn't doing anything wrong. Porn isn't a bad thing,let her be. Men watch porn and it's normal. Why can't a female?

[Courtney]

I wouldn't give her back her stuff. Its not so much about the porn as posting pictures of herself. Her father nos this and sees nothing wrong with his daughter having naked pictures online? Sounds odd to me. She is under aged and its pretty much kiddy porn. I think u should delete everything on her phone and computer sex related and keep the computer give back the phone. She isn't old enough to handle unsupervised internet access.

[jlb]

Why would you give her stuff back? Do you not care about teaching her responsibility and self respect or how to behave on the internet? Posting pictures of herself is illegal, it's child porn. In most states she could be arrested for that. Allowing a child to have unlimited "privacy" on the internet and phone isn't a good thing, children need rules and limits and they need discipline when they break the rules. She clearly doesn't deserve the freedoms you have given her.

And your husband's lack of concern is just disturbing.

As for what to do, monitor internet and phone use, don't allow her to have passwords. Let her earn your trust back.

[Minnow]

One of your biggest problems is your husband. If you're not a united front on this then you're going to have a lot of issues with her taking you seriously or obeying you. So first things first, you need to sit down with your husband and discuss what you're both comfortable with, and even if he doesn't agree with you what he will enforce. You need to come up with common rules that both of you will enforce and agree with. This may require some give on your part. Soft porn allowance for instance, or figuring out where the lines are drawn.

Once you two are on the same page, then you can figure out where to go from there. If you never talked to her about porn in the past and about what's not acceptable then it's not fair to punish her for breaking rules she didn't know about. She's only 14. She's liable to make stupid choices. You do need to talk about child porn, which she was distributing (as pictures of herself...) The legal arena there is pretty messy.

Porn is not natural, it's not normal, and it's not healthy. Masturbation does not need porn. For my house, I know that my kids would have been told when given the devices that they could not look at or use porn until they are out of the house, and if I found it then they'd lose the device. Period. It would become mine, maybe in a month or two we could talk about them having access to a family device, but it's not her cell, it's mine because I pay for it, it's not her laptop it's mine, and while she will have access to these things I'm not about to pretend she has a right to privacy on my devices. I will give that responsibility as I see she deserves it... but if I found these things on it then that responsibility is obviously too much for her.

Counseling may not be a bad idea, since your husband didn't tell you about it and knew about it and you have communication issues happening.