Need stories of late bloomer dating experiences?

[juicyfruit93]

I'm a 20-year-old college girl, and so far, the only guys I've gone out with have been guys I met at clubs/parties who asked for my number, guys I met online, and one guy my friend tried to set me up with. And I've come to the conclusion that I HATE going on dates with guys I barely know...it just feels like a chore to me. But then again, I feel like that's the only way I can get guys...I'm kinda shy and I suck at flirting, so there's basically no hope for me to be asked out by guys I already know and have a crush on. So now I'm kinda just forcing myself to go on blind dates, because that's the only way I'll meet someone, and I don't wanna end up alone.

Anyone been in a similar situation or know any other late bloomers? It's getting tough for me, because my parents are telling me I need to find someone, and even my 13-year-old sister has had her fair share of boyfriends before me...it's so embarrassing.

So, I just wanna hear stories of other late bloomers, like how they met a guy, when they got their first boyfriend, etc. Basically, I just need to know that there's still hope for me, and what I can do to improve my chances...lol.

[Kiara]

Im 20 and Ive never been a serious labelled relationship however i've experienced short lived important 'flings'. There is absolutely NO rush what's so ever or pressure that you should put on yourself to be in a relationship. I believe it's insignificant if its not intended for the long run. You may feel like everyone around you is in a relationship but so what? Sometimes I feel the same and then I think...well actually I don't like anyone enough at the moment anyway so why would I give myself to just anyone? Focus on yourself, build yourself up do things that make you happy and improve your life without a man, someone will come along when the time is right so you better believe it. 20 is YOUNG. It just goes to show your a serious girl and the wait will be worth it.

[Cody]

If it bothers you to be going on dates with people you don't know, I would say do what you can to just be good friends with a lot of guys! Don't go out looking to date them right away, just get to know people around you. You don't even need to flirt, just talk to them! There's always hope for you, and there are guys out there who would be happy to get to know you. At 20 you have plenty of time to find somebody as well.

Being in college, there are plenty of guys around you I assume. Get involved with different organizations to meet some, and if you get to know quite a few and find a few you like, then you can take them on dates instead (and it won't be so terrible as you'll know them)! That's how I've always done it with girls, as I'd not date somebody I don't at least know well. There's definitely still hope, and all you've got to do is get out there and get to know some they may even ask you out as well and save you the trouble once you know them! Good luck!

[Jay B]

I didn't even have a single date until I was 19, no holding hands, no first kiss, nothing. So I know how you feel!
Everyone always tells you to go at your own pace, that it's normal, you'll find someone eventually, etc. etc. but MAN it sucked being single for my whole teenage life! By the time I had my first girlfriend, my little sister had been with her boyfriend for 4 years, my little brother had been involved with 3 girls. I felt totally behind and pretty embarrassed.

But when I found her, she turned out to be perfect. She understood that I hadn't had a relationship before, so we went really slow at first. She was a friend-of-a-friend who I honestly just thought was cool. I asked my friend if we could invite her to hang out with us more as a group, and from there we hung out more and became friends on Facebook, and eventually started hanging out one-on-one. And then eventually dating!

Three years later and we're still just as happy and excited as day one! I attribute this huge success to being more outgoing and confident-- I didn't have any kind of confidence (thanks to being the only one of my friends who wasn't a virgin, let alone one who hadn't kissed anyone before) but I decided to go out of my safe-zone and start believing in myself more. I saw a girl I thought was cool and pretty, so I did what I'd never done before and stepped out of my box to get to know her. For me, it paid off.
I didn't force myself into relationships I wasn't interested in, but when I saw something I WAS interested in pursuing, I didn't hesitate.

Now I can say with confidence that you WILL meet someone, but on your own time. Rushing into a relationship only creates negative situations, and serial-dating gets tedious. Focus on yourself and just start tying to make new friends, that way you'll expose yourself to a lot of new people, but without the awkwardness of blind dating. Expand your horizons and get to know new people. Likewise, exude confidence! That attracts people like a magnet.