Why are feminist women not feminine? Why is being feminine considered as something done to 'please' men?

[Lazybug]

I like being feminine. I will be feminine even if I am surrounded by women. What is so bad in acting like a woman? Being feminine is not equal to being oppressed...
If a man is soft and sensitive, feminists are like “Oh dear! There is nothing bad in being a little feminine. All men don’t have to be rough and break things!”. And if a women tries to be feminine “Oh look at that! That woman is trying to get all the male attention. As if she needs a man’s approval to live her life”

[Bob]

females are naturally feminine, thats why they call them females. maybe you are thinking of lesbians

[sof.]

I'm a feminist and I'm feminine. The majority of people are feminists (you know, unless they don't believe in men and women having equal rights) and they aren't all feminine/Tom boyish. Being a feminist doesn't require you to look a certain way, just as liking ice cream doesn't require you to be brunette.

Men used (and in some cases, still do ) to portray the perfect woman as being a dainty lovely little thing that had no opinions or thoughts other than 'what shall I make for dinner?' and opposed women who weren't. So, the stigma remains that if you're feminine, then you're doing so to please men, which isn't always true.

[Under Siege]

I must have missed that feminist theory where we all walk around in cargo shorts.

[Annabeth]

I am not a feminist and i am not feminine.i feel it is too much work to try and be feminine. In my opinion, it is much easier to throw on a t-shirt and a pair of jeans and not having to worry about hair and make-up, then it is to spend two hours picking out and outfit, doing your hair, and putting on make-up.

[Helen]

Nothing is wrong with being feminine.
The ACTUAL point of feminism is to promote equality for women. Feminism doesn't promote 'acting feminine' or acting 'non-feminine'.
Feminism is about individual women being able to be who they are without being judged.

[Riley]

Well, first of all, gender is a social construct. Anatomical sex is biological, but gender (the meaning and expression we attach to our anatomy) js socially constructed. Women are not "naturally"feminine anymore than men are "naturally" rough. We have been socialized into gender roles and taught by our culture, families, schools, media, etc what is "feminine" or "masculine". The fact js that there is actually very little biological difference between sexes. Gender is a performance.

Second of all, you can't really lump all feminists into one category.

Third, you expressing yourself as feminine doesn't make you oppressed. Agreed. Here's the thing though, all your ideas about what is feminine or not is learned and socialized into you since you are first born, and that's where gender inequality begins. It's not that being feminine is a bad thing, I'm very feminine too, it's just about having the awareness to realize that all your ideas about femininity and what makes a woman a woman, and that drive to be feminine, are ingrained in us since birth.

Most feminist theory does not exactly believe that women are feminine just to please men. Women are "feminine" bc we are trained to be, we are shown that that is what a girl is suppose to be like. There is a theory of emphasized femininity which is the compliance of women to gender inequality, emphasizing socially constructed and cultural ideas of femininity, and usually this is done to appeal to men, For example, when my friends and i go out to a bar and we put on our make-up, a low cut shirt, etc. We might convince ourselves we are dressing up this way, emphasizing our femininity, for ourselves but the reality is that we are subconsciously doing so to appeal to the male gaze. I wear make-up, very feminine clothing, etc because it's what makes me feel good about myself but I'm not blind to the fact that the reason it makes me feel good about myself, and more confident, is bc I'm appealing to societal and cultural 'feminine' standards, I look good to the rest of society, so therefore I feel good about myself and more confident.

Its 5am and I haven't slept yet, so I hope my ramble made at least a little bit of sense. lol