Helphelphelp!! Emotion-friendship-love issue! Quick!?

[Beau]

So I am gay and I have a friend who has just always been a friend to me before (I've known her for about 4 years now), but I feel it's turning into love all of a sudden. I can't stop thinking about her, her beautiful face and wonderful personality, how much I want to cuddle her and spoil her with all the best this world has to offer and take her to all the places she ever wants to go... There's just one tiny little problem.

I don't know if she's gay herself.

I mean, there have been signs that she might be, like the fact that since February 1st she has the gay flag as her Facebook background (which could be because of the Sochi 2014 winter olympics and the rights of the gay people in Russia) or that her mum used to act really odd when I was around, as if she didn't like me, but now she invites me over to stay for dinner or go to the market with them and is really nice to me all the time, as if my friend had talked with her about the issue. But my friend was in love with a boy just this summer (I've asked, she says not anymore), and is completely obsessed over Benedict Cumberbatch (or at least, she says she is), so bisexual maybe? I'm confused. Help!

Some additional details: I still have to tell her that I'm gay, because a few years ago we were sitting somewhere with a group of friends and I asked (jokingly), "How would you react if one of us told you he/she was gay?". She reacted very, erhh, loud. And kind of angry-ish. So since then I had always thought she was kind of homophobic. I hadn't thought about the fact that she might have been ashame or in denial of the fact that she might have been having gay feelings herself? Or am I over-thinking the subject now? Anyways, when I found out I was gay, I told all my closest friends, except to the girl I now so adore, because I was afraid it would badly damage our friendship. That was more than three years ago and I know a lot has changed since then. She ships the pairing JohnLock (John Watson/Sherlock Holmes) of the BBC-show Sherlock to the moon and back. That already made my suspicions of her being anti-gay weaken. When I was with her and a friend of hers about two weeks ago eating pizza and the topic of gay rights in Russia came up, I decided to ask their opinion on it. She said, "I think it's total and utter bullsh*t". I was SO happy that I was wrong about her being homophobic. I am ready and willing to tell her about my sexual preference, but not about my love for her. If she is a heterosexual, my feelings will always remain a secret and most likely fade away over the years. But I am scared. Scared to be rejected and hurt and sad. I know it's part of life and love and growing up and reality, but if she doesn't like me or if she isn't gay at all, I'd rather not tell her and live in this fantasy for the rest of my life in which there exists a chance she might love me.

I hope you can help me or give me advice, because I am lost in the depths of my own emotions and I don't know what to do.

Kind regards,
Beau (15, Holland)

[Marli]

I suggest you tell her that you are gay, and study her reaction. Don't tell her of your feelings for her at that time. She might be straight, and working through her thoughts and phobias about homosexuality and the gay people in her life. It took me a long time to work through that my friends and acquaintances are good people and their sexuality is not my business. She might be gay and will tell you or she is not yet ready to disclose. She may be seeking answers and/or needs the space to work through her own sexual feelings.