Guys, why do you give out your cell number instead of asking for mine? Ladies, is it a red flag?

[Laney]

I've been talking to this guy online...He's hot and he's cold and I don't know whether he's interested or not anymore. Every time I think it's over, he'll get back to me apologizing for the delay. We live in the same state, but a few hours apart, so meeting for coffee isn't an option.

I'm the type of person that dwells on things until they drive me insane and I want to see where his head's at.

After over a weeks delay in getting back to me online, he gives me his phone number saying that I can text him if I want instead of going through the site. I question him about this...why would you give out your number after basically ignoring me for over a week (closer to two weeks)? He says that he's better at replying to texts. At the time I was out of the country, so didn't have a chance to text him and told him I'd text him when I got home. While I was gone, he deleted his online profile (within about a week of giving me his number, which I have saved). It's left me confused. Is he done with it? Is he not interested anymore? Should I just not bother texting or contacting him at all and accept that it's over? I told him I'd text him...Should I text him so that I know it's done for sure? By giving out his number, is he showing that he's interested? Maybe he's done with the site, but not done with me?

TL;DR Guys, I'm really curious as to the difference between a guy giving out his number versus asking a girl for hers. Under what circumstance would you do each one? Ladies, have you ever been given a guy's phone number? Does it mean the same thing as him asking for yours? Same intentions? I sort of feel like by him giving me his number as opposed to asking for mine, he doesn't really care. Should I consider it a red flag?

Would it be silly to simply text him 'Merry Christmas!' and if he responds, he's interested and if he doesn't, he's not?

[Valerie]

I'd say it's a red flag. It basically puts all the pressure and work to you. He's basically saying "Hey I am a huge chicken/ lazy and don't want to put in the effort to find out if you are interested in me or not so I am just going to give you my number and leave it all in your hands"

I wouldn't date a guy like that.

[Piper]

I'm older than you I'm assuming so I've had a lot of guys interested in me in my time and anytime a guy was interested in me he always jumped through hoops to get my number and called as soon as 5 mins to an hr after me giving it to them. So yeah it's weird and anytime a guy blows hot and cold that's a red flag. And I don't know what to tell you about the other stuff but my advice is just text him. Id wait till after the holidays but just text his number and see where it goes, that's ALL you really can do. With guys like this only time will tell and only time will give you the answers you're searching for. But you need to try and keep it simple keep life simple and as drama free as possible ok. Just live one day at a time. Happy holidays to you and merry Christmas.

[Dwayne]

I really don't understand why you make such a big deal out of not asking your text number. By giving you out his text number, he can see if you are interested in a relationship/friendship, whatever you have going on in there, or not.

He deleted his online profile because maybe he doesn't like internet. There are bunch of people who prefer to not own a Facebook profile because it interferes your privacy and is overall a bad site. I know I know I am one of those people and I would delete it but at the same time I need it to keep in touch with some of my close friends.

To me giving out a phone number over an online profile is more personal, meaning that he's interested in you and trusts you. Moreover, if he's truly uncomfortable with social media then this explains the reason why he gave you a phone number, which he uses more in his spare time.

My advice to all you girls is chill. Just because he didn't reply to you over a certain period of time doesn't mean he's not interested. He said he's more flexible with texts, so try to go from there. See if he starts conversation on his own and how long can he keep up with a discussion that way you'll know for sure there's something between the two of you.

Good luck!

[Stefan]

I find that when I talk to girls alot via text or Facebook it's really easy for our conversations to get boring.

I don't think that this guy you text is necessarily 'uninterested'. I think he's just bored.

You should try spicing up your conversations by being more flirty and making sure you keep the conversation fun!

For example, if he asks you "how was your day?", instead of saying "it was good, wbu?" Say something like "besides spilling my coffee this morning and tripping in the middle of a crowd, it was great!".

You see what I mean? You gotta make the convo more fun!

Also, why not try actually calling him for once instead of texting him? Talking to him in person will give you both a rush and make you both seem more human and real.

If you try this and he still delays taking to you and taking a long time to respond, I would stop waisting your time with this guy and move on. There are plenty of other dudes out there that would love to talk to you every day!

I hope this helps! Good luck!