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(opinions) Which statement would be the best to print on my shirts?
03-24-2014, 04:44 PM
Post: #1
(opinions) Which statement would be the best to print on my shirts?
I am starting up a personal training business and i am trying to compel people to 'like' my business on facebook. I have 3 sentences i am considering and i need opinions...

1) To book your first session free - like us on facebook

2) Promptly book your first session free - like us on facebook (not sure if i like how it sounds)

3) Discuss your goals with your first session on us - like us on facebook - for more info (i like this one but there is too much text for a shirt)

I really want something that makes people take action. So what can i do?

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03-24-2014, 04:49 PM
Post: #2
 
Your first option is the best of the three . . . but not very good. The other two are way too wordy. Besides, none of them reads smoothly.

And use "trigger" words. "Now" rather than "promptly." "Free" rather than "on us." That sort of thing. Further, your third option doesn't even get to the point. You're not offering anything, but instead asking people to do two things: "discuss your goals" and "like us." The "on us" is totally buried.

What you're trying to say would be better expressed as:
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Free session! Like us on Facebook.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If it's not clear that what you're offering is a free personal training session, then go with:
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Free personal training session! Just like us on Facebook.
~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bigger question, though: Even asking for a "like" on Facebook is throwing up a barrier. Consider dropping that requirement. Just go with something like: "Free personal training session!" If you're a decent salesperson, you should be able to convert a fair number of those leads. And if you really want a Facebook "like," at the first free session, offer a discount on a second session if they "like" you.

Hope that helps.

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03-24-2014, 04:56 PM
Post: #3
 
I would use personal training tips to get likes such as get 5 personal training tips to like my page and remember find the right keywords for your tips
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