she lied but says she didn't cheat-long post-Sorry.?

[mossa713]

I know what i know and i think she did cheat.but she swears up and down she didn't .i caught her lying.
Well we've been separated for a year now.i've been away for reasons out of my hands and we are in a long distance relationship while i'm away and she had out 2 kids with her. and i will be goin home in 2 months give or take.
i've had this feeling something was going on and confronted her about it, she said no i love you and i would never do this to you and i'm being paranoid. I told her that we'll see as i will find out somehow.
shortly after she said she said she going to her gamma's house so agreed that we would talk later that night. tried to get a hold of her all night and not a word from her and she wouldn't answer her phone. I got worried and thought something has happened. i called her mother in the morning i heard my kids in the back ground she seemed nervous ,i played it cool with her but i already knew something was up talked to her normal and finally i asked about my wife she said she's had stuff to do n she should be with her dad by now. so i call my father in law n he said that no she's not with him and he doesn't know where she is. at the point i knew what was going on.She didn't spend the night at home with the kids and her mom watched the kids over night and lied for her.
Any way i kept calling her phone ,it was noon when she answer she was in a rush and sounded like she just woke up. said she's on her way and she was at the store. I said no u r lying to me and call me when u r ready to tell the truth.
I was so angry,hurt and heart broken for i loved this woman and really trusted her but i also knew that the long distance thing was a big factor.. But i couldn't help it and my anger was clear. but she kept saying she didn't cheat on me and she went out then to a friend's house for drinks.
I don't believe her .i asked this friend he said she came for a few drinks n left early n that's all he knows.She said he's just covering for her cause she told him about our fight.. well i believed him, now all her family is mad at me for treating her bad.lool. her brother sent me a msg tellin me that we gonna have problems if i don't change the way i treat her and that she didn't cheat on me. The day after his gf posted on facebook about her ex and how her friends didn't want to be the one to tell her he was cheating on her- odd timing,right?- few days later a very close friend posted that if u have a bad feeling it means something is wrong .I don't know if i'm paranoid or not but the timeing for these posts was strange, also for them 2 girls to post stuff like this is not them at all. felt like they are trying to tell me something. and in the middle of this fighting i was reminded to all the shitty things i don't to her and was even threatening by taking my kids away if thought of leaving here.
We are talking again now since i forgave her for lying . but i can't believe she didn't cheat on me that night or maybe other times .
i love my kids and i don't want to hurt them. i really want to divorce her since i can't trust her any more and to be honest i feel different about her after this.
I don't know what to do.????????

[Connor]

It's very possible your feelings are correct, that she is cheating on you. But here are some things you need to consider. You've been separated for a year and you've been in a long-distance relationship. Clearly your relationship had its problems before you separated. It takes two people to kill a relationship, and if she is cheating I don't condone it, but that doesn't mean you're not equally to blame for your relationship problems.

Accusing someone of something when you're many miles from home is unfair. It's so easy to misinterpret things over the phone. Your instincts may be correct and they may be dead wrong. Get a hold of yourself and stop accusing her of stuff when you can't confront her directly face to face. Wait until you get home. Once you get home ask her to go to marriage counseling with you. Both of you seem to have trust issues.

[..?]

She's a female. What to expect from female when they cheat? They are more shame aware compare to male. Even if she oral someone without penetrating into her, she still called innocent and NOT cheating. And MOST female won't shut their mouth about privacy relationship stuff between their partner and MOST men that would wanna take advantage of a taken female knew exactly how to get them by lending their ears, that is just how it started in the first place.

[Shelley]

I am with you on this one...I think you are right. Why dont you ask the ex girlfriend of the brother inlaw and see what she says. I know for a fact that many of these so called "moms" cover for their daughters and babysit the kids. I would rather be alone than be married to the town pump, and she can't keep your kids from you. The judge will decide on your visitation rights, but that is fine...you will need to have some freedom to focus on your job and meeting new women. Good lucki

[Darlene]

Follow ur gut instinct.... it's usually right. I talk from experience. If the feeling is there take it and do some research .. that way u won't look like an ass just leaving on instinct but get proof. There's always a trail ..always. they get careless at one point.

[Jetech2000]

Whatever it is, she is a liar, liars cheat!