I have a very strange insecurity… I need someone's opinion on it.?

[Emma]

Okay so Im 22 and at university. I have had guys that I have been interested in and vice versa. BUT I have a very strange insecurity.
So say for example that this guy adds me on Facebook and I go through his pictures and I see him with loads of friends - having a great time going out etc. it makes me feel uncomfortable towards him and I think it's because I don't really have a solid group of friends that I myself hang out with. Instead I have friendships that are more 'one to one' - I have singular relationships rather then communal ones if you get what I mean. I have my flat mates and stuff and we are a group but we aren't really a 'solid' group. Also I don't really have many guy friends I'm more of a girl friend person and so when I see pictures of a guy that I like, having this group of friends it makes me feel insecure because I think he will think Im a loser. << Thats the main problem - I think he will think Im a loser because Im not having fun in a group with lots of friends like he is and as a result I end up thinking he is better then me!

Its a very strange insecurity. Someone help
Its not that I have no friends, I do… but it's just that I have close, intimate, one to one friendships rather then a big group.
thank you so much for the supportive answers - they are making me cry! With relief! … I really appreciate it.

[Mike Lee]

It's more than an insecurity. You need to make more friends. Make some changes in life..

I told all my friends never to date girls that are loners. There's a reason they don't have friends and you don't want to find out.

[Mel]

I can relate to this. I am not sociable and some people find that strange. I do not really have friends and I do not mind. Maybe you worry that if the guy you like is always socializing he may be tempted to cheat? That would be my worry. Mike Lee- that is very judgmental. Some people choose to be alone and are just not sociable.

[jah]

Dont be girl. My gf is kinda like you, she don't have much a lot a friend group. But i introduced her to my friends. It's no big deal, you like the guy go for him.

[Bobbie]

Well I understand what you mean cos my fiancee has lots of friends and yes sometimes it makes you feel like you&#x27;re the odd one out, I mean I have no friends but I&#x27;m happy on my own.
Once you&#x27;re more happy with yourself you&#x27;ll be fine

[cici]

I've never had a secure group of friends. In high school it was just whoever I talked to in class, plus whoever I sat with at lunch. It fluctuated each semester, which was a little rough. In college, I decided to be friendly with everyone, and ended up having lots of friends, but very compartmentalized, like english department friends, church friends, and friends from my dorm who lived near me. Now that I'm out of school it is super hard to have friends, I might still have church friends, or friends I chat with at work or at swing dancing, but I only have a handful of people I feel comfortable with enough to call up and hang out with, which is few and far between and always one on one.

I don't think it's a problem. Having a different style of friendship doesn't make you a loser.

[Ez2Tock2]

I use to do the same thing. One day a met a VERY POPULAR girl with an out-going personality and I thought it was the greats thing that she didn't mind hanging with me. She wasn't my type girl, but she was still awesome as a person. One day were talking and she told me how lucky I was and she wished sometimes she could live my life. I thought she was teasing me, but she wasn't. I told her I'd gladly trade places, because she's knows people, people know her, she smiles laughs and makes others smile and laugh. Everybody alway invites her and wants her around AND EVERYBODY talks to her. She said that was the problem. She can't seem to get any quiet time and just relax and be "normal". She told she likes being around me because we actually have conversations about different things. Most of the time she doesn't know what I'm talking about, but it nice to be entertained, instead of BEING EXPECTED to entertain. She told me... "A lot of times I feel like I'm just being used for peoples fun."
The point is; How you see yourself, isn't accurate to what others see. You should always be you. Let people deal with that. Its called Self Respect from you and Respect from others. Changing all the time to please people (every one) is called a puppet. He may just enjoy some quiet "one on one" time with the opposite sex. (YOU)

[Gerald]

I'll be honest, you sound like a million other women i know. so this strange insecurity is actually very common. First off, don't believe what you see on social media. Pictures are misleading. Everyone isn't have a great time all of the time. They only post pictures of those fun times so it looks that way. Second, guys tend to have many acquaintances (at least more than girls on average) but how many of those guys are really friends? maybe 5or6. How many are good friends? maybe 2 or 3. As a guy i truly don't understand why girls always are afraid of looking like a "loser" because they don't have 2 billion friends on facebook. Your no different than anybody else. Don't worry about what "he might think". If he likes you he won't gives two shits about anything or anyone but you. and i'll let you in on a little secret about guy friends to guys. Most of those guy friends find the girl attractive and that the only reason why they are your friend. Don't believe me? ask any guy. Most of the women they are friends with, they find attractive. Not all and not always but a lot of the time. So don't worry about having guy friends. They're overrated. And as for those one on one friendships, keep them. If you know or with this guy long enough, you will see all those dudes except for maybe a few drop to the wayside,becoming nobodies while those few close friendships that you have will stay strong. Sorry, i know this won't get rid of your insecurity about friends but hopefully my input has helped you out somewhat.

[Mi✕...]

its not strange at all.
you really shouldnt care wat he thinks of u,
but i understand how u feel.
having a group of friends means nothing.

"the Realest people don't have a lot of friends"

you dont need to have a ton of friends to b perceived as "cool"

it is not a popularity Contest.

in my opinion , that is a very superficial immature way of thinking.

im 23, never had a facebook, myspace, social media, etc.
cuz i can really care less how many friends a person has.
and thats why ill never have one.
everyone on their seems to be trying to prove something
or be perceived as something, godd its ridiculous.
seems worse than high school to me but
anyway...

i can say iv had about 2 REAL friends , lots n lots of acquaintances
lots party friends , but wen it comes down to who has Truly
been there for me, My family and 2 friends.

im not a LOSER , and if a Guy thinks that , then he is fake too.

im happy this way, and if a guy likes me, he will appreciate my realness &
my appreciation for GENUINE friendships,
you should realize that this is one of YOUR Qualities.
be proud of who you are.

if he has a lot of friends, may b just accept that hes a social guy.

i would like my bf to be a fun social guy
but i also wouldnt mind a Loner.



another suggestion would be, maybe date a more introverted guy ..?

u will see as u get older how hard it is to have a "Real" friend.

good luck