How to get people you talk to on occasion to become your friend without being pushy or needy?

[Gabby]

I'm a 17 year old homeschooled student (not by choice), and I have don't have a big social life. I'm just wondering how to get people you talk to on occasion to become your friends (without being pushy or needy).

I'm involved in social activities, but I feel left out because my parents are VERY overprotective and will not allow me to have a Facebook account. I work part-time at a gym, but all of the kids treat me differently because I'm a staff member, not an athlete. My parents (I hate to blame them) are very busy and throw a bunch on me (my mom hardly even schools my siblings anymore, I do that on top of the other work and schoolwork), so it may appear to people that I'm very busy. That could be the problem. I try to appear to available, but people don't ever consider me. I feel very lonely...

Please don't give the "be yourself" and "get out more" and "be kind", because I am doing all of those things! My boss tells me that she can depend on me, and that I'm very patient, friendly, caring, and kind, but sometimes I don't believe her. I'm also a Christian with a level head and good values, so I don't drink, so it's not like I'm a bully or a bad influence.

A informative and thoughtful answer and constructive criticism would be appreciated.

Thank you!!

[Aidan]

I personally feel that you don't really have to do the whole, "can you be my friend?" thing. I have a few close friends, and the way we became close was... say, natural. If the person has fun in your presence and vice versa, it's pretty much a done deal! Sorry if I'm no help but this is how it's happened for me in the past

[349]

You need to get out there more often and spend time in social groups with people that share common interests with you. People are drawn to a guy that's comfortable with himself, so start gaining your own identity and be comfortable in your own skin, of course some people will like you for that and some will not relate. If you try to please everyone you will not get anyone, trust me! Something that really helped me was whenever I was around other people, to just make an effort to make one comment to another person; some honest or funny observation about something in the room, without the expectation of a conversation, that's it! Don't try to force conversation, it needs to be natural. No matter how they appear outwardly, people are just as shy towards strangers as you. This is going to be hard for you because you're homeschooled, so you're first step will be, without breaking the 5th commandment, to let your mum and dad know that you will be going out more often now and socialising, and that this is non-negotiable. If you like a sport, join a club. If you like chess, join a chess team, if your church has a youth group, go there every week plus outings, you get the picture.