Is it normal for my mom to be so involved in every aspect of my life?

[mangoooo]

I'm 15 years old and a sophomore in high school. My mom is OBSESSED with checking my phone and stalking my twitter, my friends' twitters, and all of my apps on my phone and my messages and pictures. I get grounded when I try to change my phone password and I'm on edge constantly, trying to keep her stable and keep myself from becoming hysterical. Every day she finds something new! Something mean someone tweeted about me, and she screams at me saying I'm an idiot for being friends with them last year. Some nights she sits on my phone for hours reading through every conversation (I didn't think it was an issue so I kept most of my messages from last year to the present,) and goes through all 1000 of my pictures and somehow finds a million things to go off on me about the next morning. I've been waking up to a furious mother, and I haven't said or done anything that isn't age appropriate. I don't go to parties, sneak out, or drink. I've never done anything terrible with a boy. And she doesn't believe me. I have straight a's and am a really good kid who has e erything under control. I understand that she "cares" but I'm honestly ready to do something drastic. I feel that I deserve my privacy and that my mother shouldn't spend her time obsessing over every little thing that I say and that people I know say. Please help me decide what to do, and understand why she does this to me.

[Frieda Stacho]

No, definately not normal. Your mom sounds like a spaz. Take comfort in knowing you can move out in a few short years. Tell her your on the verge of getting a parental emancipation (that's when you can legally move out when your 16) if she doesn't give you some privacy. The other option is to try to have a heart to heart with her. Do it at a time she is off guard. Not in the heatvof argument. Tell her she is pushing you away and hurting you. No good mother wants that. She may just understand. Good luck girl!

[Martell]

High school is hard enough--with all the "growing up" issues involved--without having to be stressed out with your mother! It might be that she's going through menopause and is just stressed out continually! You and your Father could urge your mother to get a doctor's appointment and perhaps she might need some form of mild medication to ease the stress she's feeling! (AND causing YOU the excess stress!) Hold in there! And take good care of yourself! This won't last forever--AND you will know how to be a better mother when you get married and have children.

[No Real Help]

It's "normal" for YOUR mom, it's not typical of all moms.

Your mother needs to learn to respect your personal space and privacy, especially if you have given her no reason not to trust you.

[dreamer.rc42]

She's your mother and she cares. I know that's not what you want to hear but its true. Its easy to think that all of this is wrong and excessive because you're the victim but your mom sees this differently. Chances are good she fears that she doesn't care enough and that extra steps need to be taken to ensure that you don't fall victim to neglect on her part. In a way you both want the same thing, you to be happy, you just express it differently. I know how hard it is to talk to a parent when you're in conflict but you need to. Try to have a conversation that establishes groundwork for what she can reasonably do and what you will do to merit her trust. Most parents are shocked when their kids make an effort to initiate a conversation like that and that'll help lots in getting what you want. Just be willing to compromise and listen well. Don't do anything drastic, that always leads to setbacks. Good luck, I hope things work out well.

[Kaleb13]

She is a control freak that needs professional help but she has to recognize she has a problem first. Ask her if she is truly happy this way that she can never trust you or let you have any privacy without freaking out and stressing herself out. She feels she has to be in control of everything or everything will go wrong.