I'm relapsing after leaving a bad relationship. Please help me.?

[Jacob]

was once in a very bad relationship. It was all one way, she was a liar, a cheater and a manipulator to the point where a trusted friend called it an emotional abusive relationship. It took me a long time to realise this or admit it, I still don’t know which one even today, and say goodbye to her. I cut her out of my life, burned and deleted photos, deleted number , blocking her from all forms of social media. Everything. And I was happy. It was hard for the first few days but I felt light. I felt as if I didn’t have this thing weighing me down. I was happy. I became more productive, my family life improved, i was less angry and frustrated, my schoolwork improve. My life had turned around. Even when I ran into her at the shops, it was fine. I wasn’t heartbroken or felt anything. I just asked how she was saying then left, needing to be somewhere else. And I loved that. I loved not only getting drawn back but the fact that I was the one walking away leaving her behind. That was three months ago and since then things have changed.

It started off when I dreamt my best mate was having sex with her and I was so angry with him for dragging her back into my life. And I know it was just a dream but since then, she’s all I can think about. I’m feeling heartbroken, I want to see her, I want to be with her. After the dream I ran into her again. And it wasn't like the other times. I wanted to keep talking, and I felt heartbroken when she left. She was the one that ended that conversation just leaving me like she used to feeling sick. I felt sick after that. I’ve regressive, I’m at square one again.

And it’s so much worse because I came through the other side. I’ve tasted freedom, I was happy and I’m being dragged back. And I don’t want to be, I’ve been there I don’t want to go back. I’m tired. I’ve been through this, I’ve suffered, I’ve been heartbroken and I don’t want to do this. It just seems that no matter what I do, she's always got control of me. I just want to be happy. I’m just tired. Please help.

[Democritus]

Chill for a sec. First of all you are making an emotional decision, which is DANGEROUS. Never make emotional decisions. Disconnect from how you "feel," it doesn't matter. It's just Evolution playing a trick on you, trying to get you to hook back up with her because she was a reproductively beneficial. (Feelings are basically evolutionary instincts, and they have a way of making you do things that are in your best interest to have SEX. That's right, when it comes to Evolution the only thing that matters is sex.) So you need to sit back and think rationally. Would getting back into a relationship be beneficial to you? Judging by your first paragraph the answer seems to be NO, but that anxiety in the pit of your stomach might jump out and say, "YESSS!!!" Don't listen to it, it's not working in your best interest. First thing you need to do is learn to respect yourself, because no self-respecting person would get back into an abusive relationship. Especially one with a cheating girlfriend. I mean, say you married her, how could you even trust that your children would be your own?? Kill that desperation! There are so many other girls out there you'll just be wasting your time and delaying another inevitable heartbreak.

[anonymous]

Try talking to other girls
Dnt lead them on or fall for them but the distraction will help and dnt talk to her when u bump into her it only takes 29 days to beak a habit