This is a disaster, please help!!!!?

[Bobby]

I'll be 19 years old on the 30th of this month. I've been involved in a hugely complicated drama lately, and just recently found out that my girlfriend lied to me about being violated (raped) by someone. This someone's name is Chris, and for a long time I wanted to kill him for what he did. That is until the cops let Chris's parents know, and they paid me a visit last night. They told me that Chris hadn't hurt Kasi (my girlfriend) when they were together, and that he had shaken Baby syndrome. Apparently, Chris (although he is 20 years old) has an IQ of 50, and functions at the level of a seven or eight year old. He writes at a seventh grade level, and is clueless about what is going on all of the time. Not only that, he is extremely gullible, and will believe anything anyone tells him.
My girlfriend has aspergers, but I am very upset with her for lying to me. I waged an all-out war on Chris, posting what I perceived as transgressions against Kasi on my facebook page, at a non-stop pace. So you can only imagine how terrible I felt when I found all of this out about Chris. Chris's parents even had copies of emails sent between Chris and Kasi when they were still together, proving that Kasi did not feel violated by Chris's actions that Sunday morning in May. I also was told by Chris's parents that Kasi's mom was irresponsible, and dropped Kasi at Chris's condo promising to pick her up at 11:00 AM the following morning, however she came to pick up Kasi at 4:00 AM the next morning.
When Chris told Kasi's mom that he had sex with Kasi, Jill (who is Kasi's mom) tried to charge Chris with Statutory Rape. Chris's parents went on to say that they tried to contact Jill to set some boundaries between the two adults, but apparently Jill avoided Chris's parents, which lead up to Chris and Kasi having sex. The irony is of course, that if Jill had successfully charged Chris with Statutory Rape, that BOTH Kasi and Chris would have gone to jail.
I'm beyond pissed because I was only trying to protect Kasi this whole time, but all the while both Kasi and her mom had been responsible for most of what happened. Apparently Chris was very scared and shaken up when the police informed him that I intended to kill him for violating Kasi. So naturally I told Chris' father to tell Chris that I was sorry for threatening him, and I also extended an apology to Chris's parents. Now Chris's parents have a restraining order on me, and I have to go to court two days before my birthday (which is the 28th of this month). I know that I'm going to look like complete asshole in court for everything that happened. Chris's parents don't seem to be angry with me, in fact they seem to be making light of the situation.
I feel so horrible for everything that happened, and I'm very angry with Jill and Kasi. i'm seriously considering breaking up with Kasi because of this, but I want to give her a chance to explain herself first before I do anything. I've been suicidal because of this whole situation, it has left me in a giant mess, and it feels like my whole life has fallen to pieces. Does ANYBODY have ANY suggestions on where to go from here? Also when all of this began (about six months ago) I wanted to contact Chris on facebook to get his side of the story, unfortunately we ended up having an argument, which lead to him unfriending me on facebook. At the time I was on probation, and didn't want to be arrested for messaging him in order to get some answers.
My parents and I are understandably nervous, and don't know what to do. I'll give you ten points for offering the best advice you can give. I'd very much appreciate it if you would not give a short half-assed answer. Thank you very VERY much!
I was afraid that messaging Chris would be perceived as hurassment, since he unfriended me. I've been smoking four packs of cigarettes a day, and my anxiety level has skyrocketed since there is so much uncertainty.

[Barbara H]

First of all, why haven't you walked out the door already on this relationship. If half of what you said is true she can not and should not be trusted.

The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. If she lied to you and allowed you to carry on in the manner you described (which could have gotten you arrestted) she doesn't really care about you or your welfare.

NO BRAINER.

[Lydia]

I am not answering because I want any points I am doing so because maybe I can help you.This situation is terrible and I can understand why your are feeling so anxious and scared and betrayed.

First ,I feel that Chris' parents have got to set boundaries and limits for him and that is NOT your job to tell him when he is being inappropriate.Why would Kasai's mother leave her overnight at Chris' condo and not expect the inevitable to happen? Kasai's mom needs to be more responsible for her daughter since her judgment is somewhat impaired .

Kasi has started this entire mess by lying to you and this is a serious situation.I think you should hear her out but break it off with her.

Trying to contact Chris when you have a restraining order on you is a very bad idea.You must obey the law to prove you are trying to be responsible. I would not be friends with Chris after this either.You need to cut these people out of your life for your own sake.

The smart thing to do would be to sit down by yourself and write out an out line of exactly what happened.Do not be too detailed. For instance say " In may my GF Kris told me she had been raped by Chris and I threatened him.Tell the judge you were being protective and it did not come out until later that Kasi had lied to you.Don't bring up too many details because it just confuses the facts.Answer any questions you are asked with simple answers.If you are asked if you made threats say "Yes I did" if you can get in the part about the fact that after finding out the truth you apologized to Chris parents and would have apologized to Chris if the restraining order had not been in place. Some how you need to let it be known you were not aware of his had a low IQ and that if you had known you would have handled everything differently. Placing blame on any one will do you no good but do defend yourself when you can.

This is hard but you will get through it.Just be polite and keep you cool and answer everything you can with simple answers.

[extitude]

First off ,try forgiving yourself for making a mistake.
Then try to forgive others as this was just a mess and many were hurt.

Try to be glad that no rape occurred.

Be a man and stand tall and true.

Things happen.Be honest,and look at the judge straight it the eyes when you speak your peace or answer any questions.Do not get upset in court.
Never forget that a pen and paper can work wonders with a stamp on it,mailed to another person/family etc...

Being suicidal is just silly,and very unbecoming of a man.
Try not to blame anyone,or yourself.
This situation just may be the turning point of your whole life.Something that can be a road to better things.Wiser things.Smarter things.
Tell your parents how much you love them,appreciate them,and walk the path with them at your side.

I hope this can be of some help to you.
Stand tall,take your come upings,and remember that no one ever learned anything from being perfect every day.
You learn from your mistakes.