I am concerned about my 22 year old daughter & social media. Should I speak with her?

[BRi]

She moved away from home about a year ago to NYC, she is naturally popular has always been & makes friends in a snap, which is as good as it is bad. She's overly friendly. I have noticed recently by looking at her instagram & facebook that she puts up pictures of everything, her food, drinks, when she's at a nightclub, when she's at work. Everything. She even adds her location to the pictures. She recently ended an emotionally abusive relationship not that long ago, he spread terrible lies about her after the break-up & she went into a state of depression. He has a new girlfriend now & she thinks that she is better than this new girl because she has cooler pictures on her instagram & more followers. Maybe this is the way 22 year olds think in 2013. She seems to be finding herself & her voice, which I love & I am proud of her. But I feel as though she is using social media to shove it to her ex, she puts up pictures with guys, laughing, she's out every weekend. Her facebook is private, but her instagram is public & I am worried. She is in the entertainment business & is doing well, but I am worried about her & how she feels that she needs to prove something to the world but using social media. like look at me everyday I am doing something, everyday I am out, you should all be jealous. She has tons of followers on instagram & a lot of friends on facebook. Maybe I am over-reacting? Should I speak with my daughter or let this go? Am I thinking to much into this. She is 22, living on her own in NYC, she is successful, she never calls home for money or anything, she does not need to prove anything to anyone. The lies her EX spread about her & how he cheated on her was awful, but she is 22, this is not the end of the world, & uploading pictures of you at dinner is not going to make things better. Also her EX tried to re-connect with her many of times & each time she shut him down, not replying, she even changed her number.

[Carly]

It sounds like you're really worried, so definitely express your thoughts to her. At the end of the day, she's 22 years old, and should be able to make her own decisions about what's best for her, so don't get overly involved. If you're worried about her abusive ex, maybe see if she'll put her Instagram on private.

[bunnyONE]

As a parent and one who went through this phase with a son? I feel your "pain". It's unfortunate these kids blab their lives away on FACEBOOK and other social sites for it's dangerous and leaves them open to scams, cat fishing and a myriad of other predators out there...I'm afraid your job is done Mom and she will have to experience a real "burn" before she "get's" that computers and cell phones, just like the old land lines, typewriter, fax are but mere TOOLS of life - not meant to REPLACE HAVING A REAL LIFE. My son found out on his own and returned to me with: "wow, wish I had listened to your few words of wisdom Mom...I've been burned!" Long story and an ugly one in two areas of his life. He's "off" the cyberboard life for now and living, a REAL one. He realizes the easy abuse and addiction that comes with all...I'm finally happy to report! The lack of interpersonal/socialization skills that are suffering because of this is monumental these days. God forbid? These kids should have to deal with life FACE TO FACE! (shades of ignorance and awkwardness when they do!!!)

May your daughter find her own way and yes, you will worry until she does. These kids today need a "burn job" or two on their "social" sites before they 'get' it's meant as a TOOL and NOT a WAY OF LIFE...Lol...

Grace (been there - done that)

[Tabitha]

I'd just blame it on her being young and in the entertainment industry. I went to high school with a couple of people who are in that line of work and its the same. I think it's just part of the scene and networking for them. Like a side thing that goes with the career.

[Crankitty]

She should completely ignore an ex who cheated on her, lied about her, and obviously made her feel insecure. She feels badly and so she is trying to prove herself right now. Give her some reassurance, tell her how wonderful you think she is, encourage her to go through the grieving process of her relationship - it's gone and dead and that fantasy of what it was is dead too. Say things like, "It's okay to be sad when a relationship ends, even if it wasn't good for you." I wouldn't give her any advice about social media at all. Her friends know what's up and she's not the first girl (or guy) to go through it.

[Patricia]

There's nothing wrong with letting your daughter know you're concerned.

I"m not sure if she's going to listen much at her age, though.

[Max]

Even if you say you're concerned... Do you think it will stop her? Lol

It's the new thing to do... And it is a form of a popularity contest.

As sad, glaringly, incredibly and astonishingly sad as it is... That's the "cool" thing to do now.

[swbarnes2]

She's 22. I think she understands social media better than you do. And she's kicked the abusive boyfriend out of her life, which shows that her judgment is okay.

You just have to let her do things the way she wants to do them.