Having trouble with my wife having a Facebook behind my back can you help please?

[Billy]

For like maybe the fourth time I caught my wife having a Facebook without telling me. She post pictures that I don't feel a wife and mother should post. She keeps respond to this one guy flirting in a away I don't like. I even seen her comment on his pics saying she think he sexy and he even stated he knows where she lives. Not to mention her Facebook has no mention of me what so ever doesn't even say she's in a relationship or married it look likes she's a single mother.

I never cheated on her hit or anything so I have no clue as to why she would do this and than act like everything is Normal between us. I feel like she has a double life and I don't know how to approach her about this again. If I do she just going to flip it like I'm spying and stalking her. How do you think I should handle this.

[Happy-2]

The problem here is not FB - the problem is that you don't trust your wife. You believe she is interested in another man. So, have a conversation with her and find out how she's feeling about the marriage. Once you know what she is really thinking and feeling, the way forward will be more clear.

[Patrick]

No kids? No problem, divorce. Start 2014 off right. Im older at 51 and no longer put up with that crap / drama. It would seem that women from ages 16 to 30 call the shots but after beauty fades they have allot less say so. To me women are only fun when their cute and young. A 24 yr old hard bodied escort is allot cheaper and no bitching.
Fact, most men after 40 never re-marry but women will marry at any age just to survive. Its still a mans world and in my home Im the law. I highly doubt its anything you did but rather her poor choices. The internet is still cheating no matter what. What amazes me is that women will trade you up for a better guy every time even if you have kids with them. They are all psychos including yes, my mother and sisters as well as my ex's. Women too have their own little "Race Card". I saw that all the time in my military career. My money is for ME! I get a 2 hr massage every month and manicure / pedicure every 3 months. If you dont treat yourself then no one will. Even my sister said that stuff is for women, not men. See?

[sonelf-xotic]

Confront her. Communication is the best thing to deal with problems. Ask her why she did that. It would be sickening if she'll feel guilty. I hope things will turn out as good as before with both of you

[Kathy]

She doesn't sound very mature or committed to her marriage. She needs attention like a child or teenager needs attention. Don't know what to tell you, I had the same problem with my ex, that is why he is my ex. I couldn't make him commit to me or be honest with me. One thing I've learned, you can't change people. They are going to hurt you and there is nothing you can do about it. You can only change yourself. Tell her your tired of her lack of commitment and responsibility to you and your marriage and you want to know her password on facebook.

[LadyJade]

If I had to guess, it sounds like she has a few problems. One, she seems to not feel that she's getting the attention she's seeking from you (being made to feel beautiful, desired, sexy, attractive, etc). This is likely why she's posting what she's posted on her FB. Two, counseling would probably be a good idea to get a neutral party's take on why she feels the need to create FB accounts 'without telling'. It could be she feels controlled, or she has nothing else to occupy her time, or she could very well have a disorder that is causing her to seek out attention with inappropriate behavior. Please sit her down and try having a calm discussion about it. If that fails, please sign yourselves up with a couples counselor to help you wade through this mess. Good luck.

[mayo_carl]

she's either cheating already, or is planning to cheat.
don't be a chump.
get out of this marriage now.

***
"having a talk" won't work.
she will LIE about it, then continue her secrecy and sneaking around.
you already know what's happening.
forget talking.

[Ruby]

what she is doing is obviously abnormal for a supposedly happy mother & wife. I totally understand what worries u.

maybe the reason is - that ur wife suffers through post pregnancy crisis. this happens as a woman starts feeling trapped in her own house, she doesn't feel sexy anymore, lacks her man's attention so tries to find it elsewhere. and online - is the easiest option nowadays.

try to have a conversation with her. let her know how her having an online life where she pretends being free as a bird and not acknowledging ur existense makes u feel and how much it hurts u. ask her if there is any reason for her behaviour, maybe she is lacking ur attention, could be that she stopped feeling loved? just reach out to her, talk in a calm manner & crack her open.

as soon as u know what the root of the problem is - then u can fix it.

[RobertRay]

As you can see by her 4th attempt, she is trying to be secretive while she gets attention from another man (or men). This is not a woman who is dedicated to her marriage, nor is she trustworthy. Confronting her will accomplish nothing because people like this don't change their ways when caught, they just become more careful to cover their tracks as to not get caught again.

Some may say counseling, however, that is usually meant for people who want to save their marriage and if she is habitually seeking attention from other men, that doesn't sound like someone who cares about their marriage.

Sad to say but you may be looking at a divorce here because you are not going to be able to just shake a magic wand and turn her into a faithful spouse, and at this point, you are always going to be wondering what she is up to and you shouldn't be with someone when you have to keep tabs on their internet activity

[justsharing247]

Unfortunately some people just have bad habits. You may treat her like a queen but if she's the type of person who just can't be truthful or faithful then that's just who she is and no amount of attention or conversation will change things. Some people just can't be monogamous and sadly will marry but for their own selfish reasons need side action. You know her best, you say its like the forth time, obviously she's not gonna stop. She took a vow but unfortunately that vow isn't taken as seriously by all so now you need to decide if you want to be in a marriage like this or divorce. May ex was a serial cheater, he loved me dearly but it didn't stop him from cheating. It took me 13 years to figure out that you either accept it or end it cuz you can't change people. Sorry