How do I get over ex who intentionally hurts me?

[A]

We had a rough relationship, which ended up with marriage being postponed and now separated. I know he is severely depressed and angry. He has been under a lot of stress. However, these moods have destroyed our relationship, he is impossible to talk to. He blames me and now that he ended it (because I asked a question he didn't like), he has went back and mentioned every little mistake ive ever made, trying to place on the blame on me. I know the easy solution is just to move on because i deserve better, but what hurts me is that he is depressed, I hate walking away when someone needs help, but I cant force him to get help. I have not seen him since he ended it, but I have called and text...sometimes he replies to my text, but mostly ignores. He will go days without answer a call, then he will answer and make small chat, If I mention us, he suddenly has to go and hangs up. yet some texts are nice, that he loves me and misses me and then he says its over forever. Ive text him telling him how much I love and miss him, but also repeatedly telling him I want to help him. But what makes matters worse is that he blocked me on everything online and started adding all kinds of women...even tweeting them out to know that I will see it. He is sitting at home, being depressed, yet trying to hurt me by adding all these women wearing next to nothing. He even makes comments about me deserving to be hurt. Yes I should just forget because im allowing him to hurt me, but it kills me that he is hurting and I just want to help. I try so hard not to text or call, but im worried about him..how can I stop myself from communicating with him? he will not acknowledge his depression, he will only accuse me over and over of all kinds of things to blame me. ive made mistakes, but my heart is right, ive tried to help...im very distraught that he threw me out like trash for trying to help. one day hes nice, then hes ignoring, he intinitially said there was hope, sending me songs about us, then turns around and says its over forever...why would he say he loves me and misses me if he wants it over forever? this mixed signals are very painful...how do I heal? please help me...I cant eat, sleep or stop crying

[Steve-O in AZ]

Intentionally leave him.

[Southern Belle]

First of all, I am sorry to hear you are going through all of this. First thing is first, none of this is your fault. Relationships take two people to make it work, and it is either he is in or he is out, there is no being on the fence. And he is playing mind games with you about your relationship. He is obviously a depressed person and because he is angry and miserable in his own life, he wants to make you and every one else around him miserable as well.

He is emotional and mentally abusing you, you do not deserve that! He has no right to be mean to you! He is taking things out on you, you need to not be there for him, I know it is hard and I know you want to help him, but you cannot help someone that is miserable and does not want to be helped.

He is manipulating you to feel sorry for him so he can pull you back in and then treat you like crap! And as far as the other women is concerned, that right there is mind games that he is playing with you. He is disrespecting you, but my advice is, don't go searching for his social media accounts, because it is obvious that he is just wanting to make you mad and get a rise out of you. But you do need to move on because you deserve so much better! And he needs to go get his own help! You need to focus on yourself and put the effort you put into him on you.

To answer your questions from your post. How do you stop communicating with him? You need to cut all contact off with him, delete his phone number from your phone, delete his email address, social media accounts, everything. Anything that pertains to him, get rid of it. If you get the urge to call him or text him or whatever, call or text a family member or friend. Do not contact him, because if you keep being there for him he will continue to treat you and do you any old way, you need to show him that you do not care anymore, that you are done with him and moving on with your life.

Your next question. Why would he say he loves me and misses me, if he wants out forever? Mind games! He's messing with your head, nothing more, nothing less. He does not love you or miss you, if he did, he would go get help and change, his actions would prove it. If he loved you, he wouldn't disrespect you and blame you for things that are not even your fault. And if he loved you, he would be good to you and treat you like you deserve to be treated!

Your last question. How do you heal? Well, that will take time, it won't happen overnight, but with the help of family and friends you will get through it, you may not think so, but you will. Like I said, focus on you, get out and meet more people. If you want a relationship, take time to heal from this one and find you a guy that will treat you like you deserve to be treated! You do not deserve this mess, you deserve so much better! You will feel so much better once you let go of this guy and move on, he is affecting your life, you have to take care of you, you have to eat and sleep.

Good luck and remember, you deserve better and things will work out and you will get through this! Merry Christmas and take care!

[Mike]

You need to detach from him. Dounds like you are co- dependant. Get some booked on it. Get help. He is not your problem. You are your problem. You sound like a very nice and sweet woman. You will have nothing but heartache from this guy. If you would like to chat. Nine 0 8 four 9 Nine 7 3 7 5

[Bradley]

Think about what an idiot he was and how bad he treated you and tell yourself you are better than that and are worth more than that. You will eventually become confident enough to believe it and find someone who treats you as you should be treated.