How should I handle my gf talking to her ex?

[Patrick]

My girlfriend and I have been together for 6 months. Before we met she had a friend who she hooked up with and she secretly liked him during that time even though she admits he treated her terribly during that time. The hooking up stopped because he liked another girl who is now no longer in the picture. They go to the same college and I live and work full time about an hour away so while she is at school we can only see each other on weekends. She still considers him a good friend of hers and they Facebook chat very often. They also hang out occasionally in his dorm room but usually it's with a group of friends. I told her how it makes me feel terrible when she talks to him and she says she understands but she doesn't think it's right to end the relationship. We have tried compromising but she talked with her mother and decided that it was my problem and I'm the one who has to deal with it. How can I get her to stop talking to him without her hating me?

[Goliath7470]

I've been in this kind of situation before, and compromising will be the key to keeping all of this together. Both of you will have to give some of the current comfort zone away in order for this to work. That's a big part of being in a relationship. If she refuses to compromise about this, then what does that say about other things that could come up? Would she compromise with that stuff so that both you and her are happy? Keep that in mind with this kind of stuff, as given time, the true colors will shine as to how compromising she can be.

Keep in mind though that compromise doesn't mean that she no longer talks to him. That's not a compromise considering the current situation.

Hope this helps and best of luck to you!

[edie]

well it's ok for her to still be friends with him as long as she has respect for you. but I wouldn't approve of her going to the dorm room even if they are with others. not every break up ends because of a terrible relationship and they never speak again. but which relationship is she talking about not ending, the gf/bf or the just friends relationship. is it clear to you that he is not her boyfriend anymore and they are just school friends, or are you offended that because they are suppose to be broke up they are still seeing each other as friends? or are you afraid that they will get back together because you can't be with her as much as you would like to be because you work all the time? if that is the case then you will have to trust her and not be jealous. another thing too that decision should have been made between you and her and not her mother.