My boyfriend's family really shows how much they his ex girlfriend... What to do?

[Sleepy12345]

I've been feeling down in the dumps lately... If anyone can take the time to hear me out? If anyone has or is in the same boat as me? Maybe even a little advice? I will really, really appreciate it...

I've been dating my boyfriend for a little over a year now. Him and his ex have been together for almost four years.

I wasn't sure how close his family was to my boyfriend's ex until I started seeing things on Facebook.

I happened to find his ex on Facebook through our mutual friends (boyfriend's younger sister, younger brother, mom and dad).

The main reason I'm writing about this is because I'm having issues with just the mom and sister...Though his brother and dad still talk to the ex (via Facebook) they still make me feel welcomed in their family. They always interact with me through Facebook... The mom and sister are the only two that constantly keep liking, greeting her on holidays, and commenting on almost all of her pictures.

They're a really quiet Asian family, who don't really know how to socialize whenever I'm around. I don't know if it's because English isn't their first language, but can still speak English very well... I'm Asian too, but very Americanized. They (mom and sister) show that they're nice to me, but hardly ever approach or try to get to know me. Sometimes I find myself making the initiative to get to know them instead.

We're all the same ethnicity, and from what my boyfriend said, they can be a little shy and intimidated by me because I'm very Americanized. On Facebook, my pictures show that I do live a different lifestyle that they may not be used to. I wouldn't say I live extravagantly, but my family loves to wine and dine, watch the opera, etc. As for his ex, she's not Americanized, she was a very simple girl and lived a very similar and simple Asian lifestyle like them. So I'm assuming they liked her more because they can RELATE to her more.

From what a lot of people say, they find me a lot more prettier than her... But then again, it's not always about looks. She was probably really nice to them... But I find myself doing the same thing and still feel ignored by the mom and sister.

I found myself in tears on Christmas Day after seeing a few things I saw on Facebook...

His sister made a comment to his ex on how she really misses her on Christmas. That's not the first time, she constantly tells her that and says to come over or meet up to hang out. She would constantly like and comment all, if not all, majority of her pictures... Sometimes I feel like the sister wants me to see it.

Another incident... I gave a present to his parents and an extra gift to his mom, and all I got in return was my boyfriend texting me, "My parents said thank you." I ended up snooping on his ex's Facebook and of course, I see a wall post made by his mother wishing her a Merry Christmas. She didn't even give her anything and received a greeting. I, in return, got nothing... Even after I gave a gift to her.

After seeing how the sister is towards my boyfriend's ex, as rude as it sounds, I didn't even bother getting her anything for Christmas. Instead, I just gave her daughter a coloring book and a big box of crayons and got no thank you through text or Facebook from her. I'm not expecting any thanks in return, but the fact that my boyfriend's brother's GIRLFRIEND received a wall post from her saying "Thank you for the gifts..." That really hurt....

His mom and sister really show that they don't care for me much, especially through Facebook. Maybe not care, but really show they like the ex a lot more than me. Not once have they ever liked or commented on my photos, compared to my boyfriend's ex, where those two go crazy liking and commenting on her page.

It hurts, and I couldn't help but break down about it...

I try not to get my boyfriend involved, nor do I want him telling them how I feel, because I don't want to show them that I'm weak, especially to the sister.

Sometimes I feel like the sister is very competitive with me. She's a young pretty mother who likes to dress up fashionably and wear designer hand bags... I am pretty much the same. So I don't know if it's a jealousy thing? I don't know... I feel like I've been thinking way too hard about everything.

I tried to accept the fact that no matter how hard I try to make them like me, they'll keep liking the ex...

Any advice?
When my boyfriend is around my family, he is dead quiet and shy, but my family really knows how to make him feel welcome... They would go up to him for a hug and they would all talk to him. When I say all, I mean all...

I never get that kind of treatment with his family...

[556]

This may not be the advice you were hoping for but I would suggest getting off of facebook to start.
Facebook is an unneeded depressant, I disabled mine several months ago and honestly life is so much better.

It doesn't sound like you can change their mindset, (and having a passive mind makes this easy for me to say, sorry if its no help) but you should try to not let them effect you.
If you're really connected with your boyfriend it should be about you both, nobody else.
I'd find it hard to believe they would continue their actions for another year, if they're sensible,
but the fact that it's down to just those 2 is good. Eventually, if you are able to get one to open up to you it will be easier for the other.
good luck