I don't know if I want to date anymore?

[Josh]

So me and this girl have been going out for about a year and half and for the past 4 months I've been really not feeling happy but I thought you never know what you have till it's gone. So I've been really trying to make things work but I just don't feel happy and feel so controlled like if I go out at all I have to text her 24/7 or she gets mad at me. Or if I don't reply every two minutes she gets mad or if I don't put a couple smilies in texts she thinks I'm mad at her. Along with that I have do much stress with school and getting life on track with my job. I mean she is a great girl but very controlling and we've talked about it before but now it seems even if she were to change I don't know if I'd want to stay. Any advice? If you think I should break it off what would be something that wouldn't hurt her feelings?

[Vamp]

You are in a relationship that is not working. You have made an effort to mend things. You have no-one else to consider and you haven't been together very long (in lifetime terms In fact, you are in the kind of time period where lust and euphoria wear off and you have found that you have very little else. You do not have the love that sustains a long-term relationship). Whatever your reluctance to hurt her, you would be better off making the break and, actually, so would she. She would be better off with a partner who was happy. There is nothing "wrong" or blameworthy in this

You have already gone down the road of trying not to hurt her feelings - where has it got you? Feeling controlled and trapped. If you can't be away from her for a few hours without her being upset then there isn't going to be a way to break-off a relationship without upsetting her. In fact, there is no way to break off a relationship without upsetting people, even when both parties know it is the right thing to do.

What you do need to do is make a clean break without giving her hope that you are going to change your mind. You have discussed things in the past without improvement and you know that such improvement will not change your mind. So tell her this is the end, and don't get bogged down in "discussing " it because she is hurt or upset. It changes nothing but it encourages her to think that she can talk you out of it. Don't be rude; don't be angry: be firm. Then break off all contact - 'phone, text, email, social media for as long as it takes (Roughly until you stop thinking of her every day and she stops trying to guilt-trip you)