HAVING A HARD TIME WITH MY BOYFRIEND BEING FRIENDS WITH HIS EX?

[Sarah]

My boyfriend and I have known each other for 10 years and have been together since January of this year. We moved in together in June. We get along amazingly for the most part but he is still friends with his ex that he lived with for the past 6 years. I have asked him to please stop talking to her but he is constantly posting things on her facebook page and talking to her on messenger on FB. Last week he posted a .gif from an episode of 30 Rock from an episode entitled "Let's stay together" and it was a clip called "Jenna Maroney, Master of seduction" and has the female wrapping her leg around a guys shoulder. About a month ago when I was at work, my mother went by my house to drop something off and caught the ex g/f in my house with him. When I questioned him about it he said that she came by to see the dog they used to have together (who now lives with us). I'm not buying that. My mom sat outside the house to make sure she left and she called me a few minutes later telling me they left together with the dog. He never would tell me where they went other than "to walk the dog". He says that I am trying to be controlling in telling him who he can and can't be friends with, but I don't think he needs to be talking to his ex. Am I wrong? I don't talk to any of my ex's. Another thing is he is currently unemployed and I work 12 hour night shifts, so I am paying for everything. she also recently changed her facebook profile picture to their dog, who as I said now lives with me. I feel like something is up or either she is trying to piss me off. They don't have children together so have no ties to each other. Am I in the wrong here in this situation? Is he being shady and do I have the right to be suspicious about him talking to her, or am I really controlling? What do you people think about my situation?

[Its me]

when ur in a relationship u dont need to be friends w/ ur ex its out of respect for the person ur with

[Ramon C]

You start your statement with this, "My boyfriend and I have known each other for 10 years." You also say that this boyfriend lived with this other woman for six years. It is obvious with simple math that he was friends with you WHILE LIVING WITH THE OTHER WOMAN. Right? Was she jealous of you when they were living together? What I see about this man is a loser dude that enjoys the company of any woman that likes him back. He is using you as a meal ticket. Sorry, you took in a charity case, a stray dog looking for a home, a huge loser. And yet, you seem unclear as to what is happening in YOUR relationship and you focus on him contacting this other woman? Hon, you have been duped by our own emotions. You must have seen this guy's behavior in the past ten years and I do wonder as to what you are attracted about him? This is not about him. This is about you and your lack of contact with your reality. He needs to go. He is using you and he is not interested in your nor there anything solid about his character. HE IS A BUM AND YOU ARE AN IDIOT FOR TAKING HIM IN. Sorry, but I need to throw you an an electronic bucketful of iced water!!!!!!!!!!! Kick his ass out. He can go back to this other loser woman what wants him back. Good riddance! Today, please. Today.

[Chanel]

Your gut feeling is correct and now brace yourself because you need to hear some tough love.

You sound like a wonderful person who has greatly demeaned herself into thinking that this sort of situation was ok for a while. Deep in your heart you know that it's not ok at all and that is why you felt the need to post this on here. You should NOT be paying for his lifestyle. Yes he is being shady, selfish, lazy and inconsiderate. Yes you are being a doormat. Yes you do need to get some self respect. You need to tell him to move out. No I don't blame you because we've all been in a situation where we realize that we are worth MUCH MORE and then find the strength to walk away.

You're paying for everything, he is freeloading off of you all day while out doing God knows what with his ex, they probably laugh at you. What this says is that you deserve much more than that. A lot of times we think that when a certain guy doesn't treat us with love and respect that it means no one will- this is SO untrue. There are good people in the world with lots to offer you: faithfulness, kindest, respect, security and financial help. He knows you're a doormat and is treating you like one.

Be brave. I hope you take the tough love to heart and know that it came from the kindest place. Personally, I need to hear the brutal truth in order to snap myself out of denial. Much love.

[Matt]

I don't think you're being unreasonable. The fact is that his ex is not an ex, she's an almost-ex and it sounds like she's trying to work her way back into the picture. At the very least, neither of them are giving you much respect.

I suspect that the fact that your bf is unemployed at present might be generating some self-esteem issues and loneliness that the ex is happily exploiting.

But the most disturbing aspect of your story is how he doesn't seem to care about your feelings and is taking you for granted.

I doubt that talking matters through with him will have a lasting impact but I think if you introduced a bit of real (or imaginary) male competition it would be interesting. Perhaps you could tell him one night that you're going out with a male co-worker for drinks?

[Premio]

You have every right to be suspicious about the whole situation as there is just too many Red Flags as well as too many things for you to turn a Blind Eye to. You have to realize that your Boyfriend lived with his Ex for Six Years and that is not some thing, you can get over so soon.

The fact that your mum caught his Ex Girl Friend at your house is a Real Red Flag, and that is a decision for you to decide were you want to go from there. You mention that he is not working and that in itself is a Play Ground were people with time on their hand will find some thing to do.
For there is no way you can be happy when you are suspicious of your Boy Friend and