I have a problem with "snooping"?

[A]

Over my lifetime I've had several long term relationships, all 3+ years and up to 10 years. I've had a few good ones, but we simply grew apart. But then there were a few who either cheated, lied, or were sexting other women. In these relationships my boyfriends had met the women online. The thing is in every one, we tried to make it work after. One of them seemed truly remorseful and did everything to prove I could trust him again. However in the others, I felt as though they were only sorry they got caught. They did little to try to gain trust back and one even blocked me on social media. First off I NEVER snooped in these relationships until AFTER they got caught. It would start where I felt the need to just check things to make sure they weren't lying again, but when they still seemed untrustworthy I would look more and more, until I could prove they were still up to no good. And in every case I did prove they were still being dirty. They all initially got caught because ones mom told me, a friends man told me about another, and a few others were caught simply because things they said weren't adding up. Now I do not like snooping and unfortunately I'm now in a relationship where again my man has been sexting women online, this snooping consumes me. I want to trust men, but it's like once they screw me over I can't get past it. And although I don't snoop in new ones, I still have a hard time trusting. I doubt everything they tell me. My man now knows I check on him because he blocked me when he got caught and I told him that was shady. How do I trust? I don't look through phones or personal accounts...I simply google and watch public accounts. But this is no way to be! I want to trust, but why can't men be honest?

[Monica Mellish]

When you have a pattern of choosing the same kind of men, look into yourself and what kind of men are you into. Sounds like you want a bad boy with a heart of gold. Quit living in fantasy land and get real with yourself. Right now I am using my husband's computer at his office and I don't feel any need to snoop. A secure relationship allows you both to feel secure to talk to people of both genders without jealousy. We use each others phones without question. We just don't have anything to hide. when you meet someone like that you have a keeper.

[Maddeline]

Sounds like you feel choosing the wrong type of man. Maybe if you found men that were trustworthy you would have an easier time trusting them.