why do people starve/harm themselves?

[Shea]

everywhere i go, whether its school or another public place or even social media, i see young girls and boys struggling with things like depression and cutting and starving themselves. im pretty young too. (13) but i dont understand why people would do that to themselves at such a young age. dont they know their young bodies are still developing? dont they know the "perfect" girls in their thinspo are probably dead by now? and why do people post pictures online of their scars? doesnt wallowing in their sadness make them even more depressed? arent they triggering other people? maybe im just ignorant, but if you could explain the human nature of these people, please do so.

[Hannah]

Okay well self harm is a form of coping and starve is about control really!!

[aliza ❀]

Generally, to some it is a way to cope with struggles of life. The photos people post of their scars could either be for attention, a call for help, etc. Here is a deeper article on why teens hurt themselves http://www.livescience.com/11043-teens-h...njury.html

[Princess Vespa]

You don't understand them because you haven't been in there shoes. I used to say I didn't understand why anyone would get addicted to drugs when I was a teenager. I have still never been addicted to drugs but I have seen it ruin other peoples lives. I get it though, everything we do that is destructive is a coping mechanism for emotional pain. When you see someone with scars you can bet that at some point that person was abused, or bullied in some way. You have lived a peachy life without problems, you parents did a good job. Not everyone is as blessed as you are. People who starve themselves most likely feel like they don't have control over their lives. What they eat is one of the only things they can control so they don't eat. People who Cut have so much emotional pain that at some point they cut themselves to numb the emotional pain and feel real pain, it also releases endorphins.

[Liam]

Sometimes people that cut themselves do it because they are punishing themselves for something for example they could be thinking about someone they love and then they think of something bad happening to that person so they cut themselves for even thinking such a terrible thing and feel they are a bad person for even thinking it

[irving snotpocket]

Well, the the reason you do not understand it is because it's irrational. Rational people do not understand the irrational. That is natural. Therefore, you really won't be able to understand.

However, just know that the thoughts that drive them to starving or cutting are not based in reality. I do not mean they are having psychosis or are psychotic (they are NOT), I mean that when they see, for instance, their body in the mirror, they see fat. Now other people will look at them and see no fat, but they do.

The people who are cutting are seeking relief from pain. Again, it's irrational. However, the way I understand it, the pain they are experiencing is emotional -not physical. Therefore, in their mind, there is no valid reason for the pain. Therefore, by cutting, it sort of gives reason to the emotional pain they feel. However, I've never cut, so I do not know. I do know that cutting DOES provide some form of relief (and is, therefore, a coping technique), however it is a very poor treatment for their pain. The problem is that the pain (emotional) is still there after the bleeding stops. Then there is the guilt and embarassment of the scars. It creates more emotional pain, which leads to more desire to cut. Horrible cycle.

The thing that the cutters need to realize is that there are FAR BETTER treatments for the emotional pain, and cutting is a very sucky treatment for pain (same thing for illegal drugs, they are a very sucky treatment for the real issue). The doctors have MUCH better forms of treatment, which provide lasting and effective relief -with no pesky scarring!

[United Ireland]

When I was younger,I used to cut myself.This was never a cry for help,nor was it suicidal.Self harming was my way of relieving the pressure that was building up in my head.I used to get some weird satisfaction from cutting myself and watching the blood flow to the ground below.
I was a victim of bullying when I was young and I did not get much support from school or home.I first had a noose around my neck at 12 years of age,but I could not understand why or what I was doing.I wanted to fight back and hurt those who were hurting me,but I was unable to do so.
I was suffering from depression from 12/13,but everyone just thought I was quiet and moody.I couldn't tell anyone what was going on for I couldn't understand it myself.
So from a young age I was pretty messed up and had no where to turn.I don't know why I started cutting myself but I can remember even now the relief that it gave me.It empowered me and handed me back control over my own body.Once I started cutting,the beatings never felt as bad again for I knew that I would be relieving myself of this pain later that day.I also started drinking alcohol at 14/15 and this too numbed the pain of life and also numbed the pain that I was inflicting on myself.
But cutting,solvent abuse,or any other form of self harm,can never be viewed as any logical solution to any problem that you may encounter.Whenever you use any form of self harm,you are realistically putting your life at risk.You mentally are not fully aware of what you are doing.It is not like you can read up on how to self harm safely.
I am lucky and blessed to be alive today.But I don't have to look far to see what damage I have done to myself.My arms,chest and wrists are all badly scared and this is probably 20 years since I last engaged in this insane practice.My kids have already seen the scars and I am dreading the day when they asked what happened.How do you explain self harming or suicide attempts to your own children?
I know why I self harmed and I can also understand why others do it.It is their bodies and they are free to do what they want.But I realise now that self harming never resolves anything,I was still been bullied and I was still suffering from a mental illness.The only person that you are damaging is yourself and you will have to live with them scars forever.

[I. U.]

In all honesty, it is rather ridiculous.
Don't get me wrong though, I went through a period of time like that, and it's hard to pull yourself out of it. It's a mental thing, where people think they deserve it or they just want some form of control in their life.
It's sad, really.

[Billie]

You’re right – it doesn’t make sense and it’s certainly not rational.

Trying to consider how to explain this… Okay, let’s see if this works. Basically, your brain is what controls not only your thoughts, but also your emotions, your decision-making, and your self-control. But in a way, it’s also just another bodily organ like any other.

Like any other bodily organ (the heart, for example), a brain can develop problems and not work the way it’s supposed to – in ways that can even cause harm to the body. Just like a heart can cause harm to the body by having a heart attack, the brain can cause harm to the body by causing someone to become obsessed with being skinny (and simultaneously making them believe they are fat, no matter how skinny they get).

A brain that doesn’t work the way it’s supposed to can also cause someone to get enjoyment from harming themselves, or it can run out of the chemicals necessary to cause someone to be happy (which results in depression).

So it’s really not always something that the person can control, unfortunately. They may want to do the right thing and want to stop, but because their brain works differently than yours or mine, it’s simply too difficult for them to do without professional help. (Kind of like how a person having a heart attack wouldn’t be expected to heal themselves, a person who cuts or starves themselves – etc. – can’t necessarily be expected to cure their brain themselves either).

This is why people like psychologists and psychiatrists are so important. They study for many, many years to understand everything there is to know all there is to know about the brain. That way, they can examine people who are having difficulties like the ones you are talking about, and determine exactly what is causing their brain to act like this, and how to fix it. Many of these problems you’re talking about can be cured with the help of a professional like a psychologist or a psychiatrist.

If someone is posting pictures of their scars online, that might mean they are scared about what is going on, and trying to get someone to help them. I don’t know what your relation to the person is, but it would probably be a good idea to tell someone who can help the person get professional help (a parent or a guidance counselor at school, etc.). You can ask to remain anonymous if you don’t want the self-harmer to know who it was who reported them.

It’s refreshing to see a young person who is so astute about “Thinspo” being an unhealthy influence in our society. You seem like a very mature and intellectually curious young lady. I wish you the best of luck in dealing with this difficult situation… You are very smart to be asking for advice instead of trying to handle it all on your own. Please come back and ask more questions if you need to! Good luck!!