I feel like Im settling for less than I deserve?

[A]

My fiancé and I had a great relationship for 3 years, then he had life changing weight loss surgery. Afterwards, he changed...for the worse. I am very happy he is now healthy, but his attitude sucks. He constantly brags about himself and how many people like him, talk about him, admire him, want him, etc...but then he tells everyone he is humble when he is far from it. He always brags about getting hit on and how he could have better women. Afterwards he also blocked me on all social media and then started adding females, started "liking" slutty pictures on fb, started making "friends" with strange women online. When Ive explained how I feel about being blocked and him constantly throwing these online women and real life local women in my face, he makes excuses and refuses to stop. He ignores me a lot, he has a lot of down time at work and I can see he is online, but he wont reply to anything I text. When he asks me questions he only wants a yes or no answer-if I try to explain anything he gets angry. he is always pointing out my flaws, but if I tell him he is ever out of line, he gets very angry at me and is in complete denial. Its like everything has went to his head and he craves attention from everyone else. He doesn't even have "in a relationship" or anything online. Maybe these seem petty but im tired of being treated like garbage and its like im only around when its convenient for him. he treats everyone, even strangers better than he does me. If I get upset and cry about the things he says or does, he tells me to knock it off. I give him tons of attention, take care of the house, I work, and I go to school, all he has to do is work. the last 2 years have been miserable. I love him, but I feel he doesn't treat me right. I expect respect and its like he has no regard for how I feel when he is throwing all his new women friends in my face. He says its no big deal. it is when he blocks me and doesn't even acknowledge our relationship online. although I have never caught him chatting inappropriately, I still feel his actions are inappropriate by liking and friending slutty women. Do you think im settling for less or is there a chance im just overreacting when dealing with his change? Im at the point im ready to leave, unless someone can help me understand why this is okay an maybe im overreacting...please help...to be honest, im also afraid if I leave that he will very quickly move on just to hurt me and yes it will hurt because I love him...I just wanted him to love me and respect me like he used to
Dodge, I neglected to mention that I've suggested counseling MANY times only to be lashed out at, he refuses, and gets extremely angry, he denies having any problems. He sees no wrong in any of it, all the blame is placed on me. I'm not a quitter by any means, I've tried for 2 years after surgery only to be treated like garbage while I worshipped the ground he walks on. I can't do it anymore.

[Athena]

Okay, let us say you are right.
Now what?
You CAN say no to your current situation.
It is hard, but it is allowed.

OR are you one of those women who complains about everything but never does anything to change it???

[hana s]

Its hard to know for sure whats going on in his head the behaviour seems nerotic, its to do with the operation maybe he is finally getting the attention he never got before....

I think u should leave him and try and find someone better. especially since u did ur best, if things are bad now they will only get worse over time

[Hot Sauce Lover]

Omg, seriously??? Why the hell are you with this guy?????? Dump him NOW.. You deserve way better.. He's a lil cocky, arrogant loser.. Let him be that way, but you move on and find someone who will treat you great, not talk about other women all the time, not block you from social media, gives you the attention you deserve... Leave him and remind him that you were there for him when he was overweight and no one wanted him and then you leave. You are an amazing girl and you can find an amazing guy that's worth your time and your love... I'm sorry, but it's time to move on..

[patty mac]

It sounds as if he is changing who he is as a person because his physical appearance has. It actually sounds really bad that he's doing this to after you have been by his side. His confidence speaks to somewhere inside him that wants to experience attention from women. He doesn't sound humble to me at all. The fact that he blocked you throws up a lot of red flags. You shouldn't feel like your over reacting what he is doing is wrong. He should feel confident but he shouldnt disrespect you in the process. I would strongly suggest a marriage counselor.

[swbarnes2]

"He always brags about getting hit on and how he could have better women. Afterwards he also blocked me on all social media and then started adding females, started "liking" slutty pictures on fb, started making "friends" with strange women online."

Aren't you glad you learned all this now, BEFORE you married him?

"Maybe these seem petty"

Absolutely not.

"Do you think im settling for less or is there a chance im just overreacting when dealing with his change?"

You are not over-reaction. He wants his chance at those women, let him have it. You will be MUCH better off when you are rid of him.

[no1advice]

Well this is normal for a person losing alot of weight. I suggest you leave him be and for now move on in life. Once he has spent some time dating and "moving on" himself it's possible IF he really did love you he will return. You will not change him now. He's proud of himself and rightfully so. But how he is handling it will be the death of any relationship he even tries to have with any gal. ok? I say this with all truthfullness.

[Liza2]

LEAVE HIM for sure! Yes, it will hurt when he moves on with someone else. So what? It won't last forever! One day, when your meet your true Prince Charming/ Mr. Right you'll be SO GLAD you let this jerk go.

Break-ups always hurt...but spending a lifetime with a jerk like your "fiancé" is way more painful because the pain goes on and on and on...Put an end to your pain and cut him loose. Besides, you'll gain some self-respect by dumping him and THAT will feel good.

Take care and best wishes.

EDIT: I think Uncle Dodge misread your question and thought you said husband, not fiancé.

[Your Uncle Dodge!]

I am appalled at the "drop him" quitter reactions, and shocked that you aren't dragging his butt to counseling.

You invested all that time and energy. And he is YOUR husband. Take the reins and get this man, who obviously is struggling trying to handle the sudden success of his weight loss, to understand what is happening here. I think he's mentally overwhelmed.

You and the counselor get his head on straight, and you keep the weight loss benefits of his body and confidence - plus the time in the marriage - for yourself.

[sheloves_dablues]

Yes, you're settling. Get out.