moving on after a manipulative relationship?

[Ian]

My ex left me about 6 months ago for another Guy. We were supposed to be married she still has my ring. I enjoyed so much with her i as shocked. My family hated her but i loved her. Its been a rough six months and I've come to realize she was very manipulative and never loved me. I really realized she was nuts after NC was broken via Facebook and she said she never cheated or did anything wrong when she dumped me via text and cut me of. Said i was a good friend and our time of two years didn't mean much. It as cold hearted but i still think about her. I want to know how to block her out. She's caused nothing but trouble especially financially after wasting money on a ring and surprise lake house. How do u let go of anger and confusion? How do.u trust again? I've been out with other girls but i find myself stuck on disbelief the woman i loved turned out to be fake.

[Amz]

You were duped and it sucks. You will find ways to move on and learn to trust people again. I think what you should keep in mind are those things she did/said in the past that would *now* be red flags to you in future endeavors.

Keep in mind that it is okay to stand up for yourself even when it would cause a fight. People have to know where the boundaries are with you. They can't read your mind. Fights/arguments are very uncomfortable for me, but you'll learn to deal with it when you do and then move on. Hopefully though you can learn to verbalize your boundaries without causing someone to be angry or defensive.

It takes a while to get over someone.... especially if you loved them.

The best thing for you to do is get away from the social media. Delete her off all of the FB, Tweets, etc.. Then you have to force yourself to STOP looking at hers to see if you can figure out what she's doing. Don't try to be her friend or keep in touch it is only going to deepen your wounds and leave scars when you finally do heal. Start hanging out with your friends more often (or family). Just keep your social calendar busy for a while so you won't sit around and miss her. In time, you will start to heal and will be able to move on.

[David]

There are countless songs about love being blind. It is accepted in scientific circles (if that means anything!).

Don't cut yourself up for being a normal human being who was in love and couldn't see what was obvious to everybody else. It is a kind of drug and everybody knows that when you are high on something things just don't look the same.

Accept it, learn from it and learn to deal with it.

From my own experience trying to block her out doesn't work. Accept it and move it on, move it gently from your thoughts when it comes in and go on with what you are doing. With practice it will become easier. I would suggest you try meditation or mindfulness. You will find many sites on-line. One I particularly like is called headspace.com - but all of them will teach you a different way of looking at life.