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How do I stop being such an overly attached person to my friend?
04-08-2014, 06:43 PM
Post: #1
How do I stop being such an overly attached person to my friend?
Ok normally if people are overly attached to one another it would be a date. However, this time she is my friend (I'm a guy).

I know I this may sound pathetic but I'm a rarely social type of guy and I've never had a date before now I'm 19.

I met her on a dating site and I added her to chat me on Facebook about a month ago. Over that time we have been talking a lot (over 10,000 messages long!). We've talked a lot every day and it started yesterday that she said that she's had enough.

Her schedule is hard to understand and it is hard for me to understand whether she's online to chat or just simply do a quick check really. The reason being is she uses mobile phone but I don't have a phone. Therefore I use a laptop to Facebook and do all kinds of stuff.

In fact, she also said that I talk to her more than her BF talks to her. The thing is really I'm simply just treating her as a GF because I don't know I'm just feeling like a jerk really. Regarding this story, she's not really my GF it's just I met her but we couldn't really meet because we lived miles apart. She found a BF afterwards but he probably didn't care about me.

So today, I was getting into depression that she wouldn't talk to me when I sent her the Facebook message. She read the message right away. My brain just felt the "withdrawal" symptoms because this really feels like a drug. So she finally replied around 3+ hours later and I started to tell her I was sorry and so I only decided to talk to her for just today and stop. She kept saying "it's ok". But I doubt it is really. I just feel her mind as if she's pretending to talk to me. I tried to convince her that I will stop but I'm not sure if she'll believe me or not. Now I feel like I lost her trust Sad

My questions really are:

1) Could I gain back her trust and will of talking to me? She appreciated the chatting manner before the last few days.

2) How could I go by handling the withdrawal symptoms of not talking to her? I'm a type of guy that can't find girls in real life and I rarely have any friends to be honest.

I know I'm such a jerk but I want to correct my personality if possible. Thanks for your help in advance.
PS: I just talked to her to say goodnight but it seemed like we leaked around 10 messages Sad Wow it just shows how much I talk to her about things because we really do have a lot in common.
@Rahul: I think you're using "him" as my "somewhat-GF"?


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04-08-2014, 06:46 PM
Post: #2
1 you can probably gain back her trust (seems your doing a good job of it so far) but it sounds like she wants to cut back on the amount of time she spends talking to you so your friendship is probably going to be different than it was before. Youll just have to except that. And who knows maybe in the future things will change.

2 find something else to do when she comes to mind, like spend time here or on another site, read, play with your dog or other pet if you have one, go for a walk, just keep busy. If you want to make more friends try joining a group or class that interests you and you will hopefully meet people you have something in common with.

Try not to be so down on yourself , you dont sound like a jerk to me. Good luck to you I hope it works out! Smile


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04-08-2014, 06:54 PM
Post: #3
This is very difficult to say that she come back to you or not you, if she is just your friend than you should not be addicted for him , she is just simply your friend. And if you have started liking him him than you should tell him.....just don't think about him keep yourself busy in some work or keep bust=y in whatever you like ,just don't think about him..and you are just 19 you can find even more beautiful and good girls from him.
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