How can I stop my daughter's father from using our daughter for attention?

[Samantha]

I know this sounds childish.
My ex husband, daughter's father has not spoken to his daughter since Christmas and has not seen her in 2 years. His phone calls are usually once a month. He also does not pay child support. He will send her gifts every now and then.

Side Note: Please do not judge me for not "going after him for child support". He is making minimum wage and if I had his wages garnished he would not be able to survive and although I do not care for him much, I do not wish him to suffer. Also, if I went through the state and he did not pay, they would suspend his license and/or arrest him, which does absolutely no good for anyone so there is not point in my own opinion.

As a courtesy I will email him photos of our daughter and give him updates. I am just trying to do the right thing. He will then take the photos and post them on to his social media and talk about how much he misses her and will then make up stories about "how smart she is" and "she told me this the other day". People will praise him for being "such a great father!" Yet he does less than the bare minimum.

My issue is that this bothers me so much and I have no idea what to do about it while maintaining civility with him. It also makes me feel angry, like my daughter was used. I just want to do the right thing for my daughter and keep the peace but I am not sure how to go about it.
Any constructive comments are greatly appreciated! Thank you for reading.

[almarj70]

I would have to physically restrain myself! I have noticed however that karma usually has a way of catching up with guys like your ex and though its must be very frustrating for you I think all you can do is block him on social media and just stick to email communication . One day he is going to get caught out, perhaps even by his own daughter once she is a bit older and is allowed to use FB and other social media sites.

[?]

You are right that being civil is the best thing to do, but you are making life to easy for him. He probably thinks everythings okay because you tell him tha your daughters fine and send pictures, to him thats all the involvement he needs. Just to know that shes alive and okay. I would not send him any updates or pictures anymore. Make it so that he has to show effort to know anything about your daughter and how shes doing. If you just hand the little info he needs to him, he wont fell the need to pursue actually checking up on her.

[Suzanne]

You're a good mother. I commend you for seeing things objectively and not going after support from someone who can't afford it...and for being civil with the father of your child.

It sounds to me like you're doing all the right things. I would suggest that you block him on FB. We don't know what his reasons for his posts are, but if they bother you, it might be best for you to keep yourself from seeing them. I wouldn't stop sending him pictures and updates. I think your daughter will appreciate the effort when she gets older, whether it was reciprocated or not.