How to ask him if he's gay...?

[Hayden]

Im 16, he's 16. Im a closet gay. Anyway, theres this guy that I have recently befriended. We talk facebook, text, we have a class together. You know how normal friends do. Thing is I catch him staring at me, his fingers linger when I give him something, you know subtle things. But the problem is, he is like me. Can't tell that your gay, and if you are found out, you deny it. I have asked once if he was gay, he said "wtf?" from there I proceeded to say it was the wrong conversation to avoid anything. Months later I'm more sure that he is gay, his facebook even says it for christ sake! And he's even liked a facebook page "being gay" but he is not open and denies it? So how can I ask him, without offending him? Failing this, how can I talk to him more? I find topics that interest us both but eventually they run dead and I have to find new ones, thing is its really hard to lead the conversation towards these "new" ones, and I really love talking to him so it makes me a bit sad when Im not talking to him... So any thoughts on how to start deep meaningful conversations.... me and him have never really had one?
I'd also like to add, if anyone ever reads this, he is FOR gay marriage and would be comfortable to have a gay friend.

[Stephen]

If you don't want to come out to him, why should he want to come out to you? And at 16, I can understand entirely why you wouldn't want to. But you can't expect someone else to do what you won't do yourself. And that goes for just about anything.
About conversations: it is pointless to force a conversation. You have interests in common. Talk about them. When you're through with the topic, just sit quietly. Nothing wrong with being quiet for a while and enjoy the surroundings, watch others, etc.
Good luck.

[JD]

I'm inclined to say that you should handle this as adults would. Simply bring up a conversation about relationships. Ask "So what qualities attract you to someone?" or something like that to get the conversation going, and then maybe bounce "Have you ever had feelings for a guy?" off the wall and see how that goes. Again... That's what I'd say to an adult. A teen in high school though....

First off. You have to realize that you're pursuing a GUY. For what purpose? To date him? To play around with him and experiment? You have to think about WHY you're doing this and what you want to come from this. If it's a relationship, you have to understand that it's VERY possible that someone will find out about you two and word will get out about your sexuality. You need to be ready for that if it happens.

You also need to really trust him. If you're going to take a step closer to him for any reason at all, it will need to involve letting him in on your sexuality. You need to either feel very secure with him and trust he will keep your secret, or you need to be ready for the possibility of him saying something to someone. You can't count on him being ready to come out, and someone in his position may become defensive when one of their peers (you) even hints that he may be gay, or tells him that they're gay.

just understand the risk, and be careful. It's important that you come out when you're ready, and that you avoid situations that might "out" you before you are. That being said... What I would recommend a high schooler do... Is to continue hinting at things. Do little things that hint that you like him, or compliment him. Once you feel you've sent him enough signs, and that he SHOULD have an idea that you're gay... Take the next step. Directly mention your attraction to him. Or ask him something that brings the subject up. Maybe: "Can I ask you something? *sure* Does it make you uncomfortable at all when I compliment you like I do?". If he says no, GREAT! If he says "What do you mean?", explain that you kinda find him attractive/cute/whatever, and you just want to make sure you're not scaring him.

Should be easy for you to gauge the situation and take things from there.

Just suggestions. Good luck!

[Коля]

Since he seems so comfortable with it, I think you should tell him you are gay and want to date him. Simply say that. It's better if you are alone, invite him to your house or something. If you come out first, he may feel better about it, but I must warn you that I have had an experience with a boy who wouldn't admit it. I asked him out and he rejected me and I was almost certain he liked me. After he rejected me I'm quite positive the interest was still there, but everything was ruined because he couldn't own up and we stopped talking. Just be aware of that type of thing. Hopefully you will have success. If he rejects you, just try to talk about it right there, don't let him just walk away from you and end it all. I'm serious. Give him every reason why it is okay and that he shouldn't deny liking you if he indeed does. The first order of business is to make sure he likes you, first and foremost. Good luck! =]