Was my mother violating my privacy?

[Crash]

I'm 17, turning 18 in one month. My mom insists on having my facebook password. I can understand why a parent would want to moniter their child's internet use. BUT, she was reading through my messages yesterday morning for no reason other than nosiness and she read messages of me complaining about an older friend how my mom hurts my feelings all the time and I can't wait to go to college in the fallt. My mom flipped out, shut my internet off, shut my phone off, and won't talk to me. She told me that I can move out, but can't take my car. WTF. My question is; was she wrong in violating my privacy? She had NO reason to be suspicious OR to read my private messages.
I thought that I deleted the messages, unaware that FB now keeps them archived. Also, no she had NO reason to be suspicious. I don't get into trouble.

[DAVID J]

No offense, but yeah. Sorry

[Nieovi]

I wouldn't let her. There is no reason for her to go through your personal things. Unless, of course, you gave her a reason to. Anyways, respectfully stand your ground.

[Steph Binding]

Yes. Your mother has completely violated your privacy, which is something she really shouldn't have done if she wants to keep your trust. I think you need to have a talk with her and explain what she did was wrong. If she really loves you, she will understand.

[zack albright]

Im 15 and my mom has my password.. But your pretty much A adult. She shouldnt het mad about something that she was never ment to see. I think that she will come to her sences soon

[Jennifer]

I know what it is like having a mom like that but, you need to be smart enough not to write that stuff so that she can see it. If you know she has your password dont talk sh*t about her on line. You are not an adult therefor you mom has every right to do what she did. I know how bad it sucks my mom was way worse, but that is why I moved out the day I turned 18.

[Sky]

Yes. Totally. Sounds like a control freak.

Perhaps you should have a talk with your mum, that you are above 16, and deserve some privacy.

Think win-win. Provide some incentives for her.

Perhaps you can add her as friend on facebook, so that she can just lurk around, instead of hijacking your facebook account? It is the lesser of the 2 evils.

Also on your part, you might want to practice some self-censorship. It's not always a good idea to leave incriminating comments online when your mum have access to your postings.

[Sidra]

I am going to give you my opinion, and it is completly rational, from a completly objective point of view. I am not trying to take your moms side. I think, that your mom is just being a concerned parent. she was just being a mom, and she probably got really hurt that you complained to your friend and didn't talk to her. All moms hurt their kids' feelings without knowing it. My mom calls me fat all the time even though im a stick. she hurts my feelings but i know its just because she thinks that i know she loves me no matter what. Parents sometimes dont realise that they hurt their kids with some comments, but its only because they feel they dont have to be as careful around you. so i think that if you dont have anything to hide, give your mom the password, apologize and become friends again. and next time, talk to her when she hurts your feelings. good luck

[Pearl L]

yes, she was but you gotta be careful what you say on facebook, you never know whos going to read it

[Charleena]

This is a tricky situation, because legally, your mom has a right to have your password and check your messages until you are no longer a minor under her guardianship. However, on ethical reasons, she is violating your privacy. Obviously, if you gave her a reason to be suspicious or feel the need to check through your messages, she was doing the right thing. It's a parents job to make sure their kids are safe (because we know the internet can be a really dangerous place). But, it doesn't sound like you were giving her any reason to intrude and therefore she's crossing a personal line by being so rude.

I just turned eighteen myself and also going away to university this fall and I've noticed that now I'm reaching the point where I don't need my mom anymore, she's trying to be extra-controlling of me. I think that need for control is them expressing "Oh my gosh, my baby girl/boy doesn't need me anymore" so they act all freaky. Not all parents are like this, but I have noticed it happens around the summer before you head off to college.
(I'm not trying to make excuses for your mother's ill behavior - just trying to make some sense of it)

In the meantime, either just wait till your eighteen and can change your password or just change it now. Don't get mad at your mom - just tell her that you behave appropriately online and are mature enough to handle the atmosphere respectively and that she doesn't need to be monitoring you anymore.