My 13 yr old girl is getting picked on?

[Tony C]

My child seems to be going thru friends groups a lot? She now only has one friend she hangs out with and is getting picked on and made fun of at school. For 6th grade is that the normal or is it my child? I am a single dad and her mom is hardly around though she does have a step mom. I taught her to treat people the way she wants to be treated and be honest. Social media wasn't around when I was a child and seems to be adding more fuel to the fire. Any suggestions?

[KitKat]

teach her to set boundaries. she attends school with classmates, not friends. bullying is illegal in most school districts. meet with school administrators and/or local police. consider a different option for her education -charter, public, or private school.

[Boys Town]

Getting picked on or bullied 20 years ago often stopped when the school bell rang, but with social media (cell phones, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram) it can follow a person through the night. Those early teen years can be rough years as the kids are trying to figure out who they are, what they value, what makes a good friend. Add going through puberty to it and it can be quite the mix.

Although bullying is never acceptable, some people are more prone to be victims - those that have a physcial or mental diability, those that are of a different nationality, color, culture, sexual identity, or class. Kids can be targets for a variety of reasons. It could be for reasons like immaturity, a "love" interest, or even as simple as giving a wrong answer in class.

Check in with her frequently. Talk to her about her day. Monitor the social media. Computers should be turned off at a certain hour, cell phones turned in at night, even ipods since many kids can text through their ipod touches. Know her passwords, and make it clear that you will check her contacts periodically. If there is repeat bullying from a source, report it to the school. Many schools actually have bullying policies in their handbooks for these very reasons. Her teachers may be able to give you some input on what they are seeing at school too.

There are some good resources out there for kids if they are dealing with a bully. Be sure to check these websites out. Your daughter is a good age for it.

Laura - Crisis Counselor

[Nik]

She's going through a really tough time, as do most her age. You should probably:
.Help her fit in. If she really wants some new clothing item or jewelry piece, get it for her.
.Limit social media <~BIG ONE this can be super destructive. Turn the focus on schoolwork.
.Pay attention. If she starts self-harming or acting depressed, contact the school and a therapist.
.Be there for her. If she has a bad day, find a way to cheer her up!
.Involve her mom. definitely. No teen girl can be happy without a mom to turn to.
Good luck!