What to say to a long lost cousin?

[Brittany]

I recently found a cousin of mine in Facebook who I haven't seen since I was atleast 3 years old. Him and his mother use to stay at my house when I was a toddler and basically moved out when my moms nephew broke up with her. My mom somewhat stayed in contact with them over the years but when her life became really complicated about 7 years ago they both just drifted. I really want to send him a letter but I'm unsure of what I should say. I don't know if his biological father (my moms nephew) is in his life or not and i don't know what he's been told about my side of the family.

[James]

hi

[B.B. Gun]

First consider your own motivations. Why do you suddenly want to reconnect with him, when clearly you were too young to have formed a bond with him? Do you have few family members in your life now and are just looking to expand your circle? Are you just curious? I ask you to explore this because obviously he'll be curious, and often "just because" isn't a good enough answer.

Second, see if he is active in social media. Obviously it'd be a LOT easier to reconnect with him via Facebook. From there you could chat and catch up, which would open you up to calling him on the phone.

Finally, understand that he may not be as interested as you are in reconnecting. He may have had awful dealings with his father, and his mother may have long since remarried. Please don't take it personally if this is the case!!