My life is boring and plain, no "real" friends?

[JKT-ID]

Hi my name is Nicholas, I'm a 15-year-old boy (turning 16 next month) I'm a sophomore and for what it's worth I'm an introvert, Every now and then i feel like my life lacks meaning, empty and boring. I do same shit every damn day..I wake up, go to school, finish school, go back home, play computer, cell phone, watch idiot box and you name it

At school, I'm of the "weirdo, freak, geek" clique since i'm into technology, i do get verbally bullied once in a while in my classroom, like when a teacher says something that they think relates to me in some way they instantly shout my name....I don't talk that much either except when i'm with my friends (or should i call them acquaintances) because these so-called friends hardly ever talk to me in person or text me unless i initiate.

On a holiday, you'd think that a teenager like me would be having so much fun hanging out with friends, chillin', partying and what have you wouldn't you ? Nah, Nobody bothers to invite me, Albeit i think i like hanging out, if somebody invites me to go somewhere and i've the means to go there (transportation) then i will most likely go without a doubt..

I also don't have many "real friends" that care about me,that said i do have a few but i doubt them... sure they're nice at school but they hardly ever text me first or invite me to do go somewhere...

I'm not fat nor ugly..kind of somewhere in between, I'm 5'9" and weigh 171 pound, i don't have any acnes whatsoever, but i lack self-esteem

i've never had a girlfriend either...its not that i don't try, i did, but to no avail...i suppose my reputation at school definitely plays a role leading to me never having a girlfriend..the girls at my school only want to date those "Alpha males" / whoever that are on the top of the social totem pole or at least on par with them...Because, a cheerleader dating with a nerdy seems off doesn't it ?..

My self-esteem is quite low as well, I don't even dare to take a selfie and post it to social media because i'm too scared that my friends will judge me and say something along the lines like "as if youre handsome" "you're ugly" and so forth...because the people at my school is utterly judgemental, they will judge even the most trivial things. if i try to get out of my comfort zone like dressing up they will come in front of my face and say something such ass "Just because you dress like us doesn't mean you're one of us " i find them to be very cruel, how can i be one of them if im not comfortable being around them ?..

On the weekend while teens of my age are having fun hanging out or chillin' with their friends and/or gf i sit at home browsing the 'net which is extremely extremely boring

My parents aren't well-off, they make less than 1k a month, i have to make my own money to buy something i want, i sell stuff on ebay. i usually get $100 or so a month.. they do fight over a lot, almost everyday (dare i say perpetually).insofar as i've grown used to it.

I have a sister and her life is completely different than me, she has a bunch of friends and she goes out almost every day..she has a boyfriend (though she is being ignored now) and 1 ex...she is 20 yo

will life change after high school ? seriously...if could graduate now i certainly would. or will this be the same once i graduate?

long vacation that is otherwise fun is ruined by the fact that i've no friends to hangout with..sitting all day at home 24/7 doesn't sound exciting does it ?

seriously, I'm 16 and yet i've got no freedom.

tl;dr : I live in the dark corner that is loneliness, I'm in autopilot mode which means i do same shit every single day unsubsconciously, i've got no friends that care about me.i've never had a girlfriend before nor have i ever kissed a girl, i've never had any single life-changing event...

suggestions ?

[BROWNY]

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