How to shake off my ex?

[Tiff]

Hello. I am 24 years old. Two weeks ago, me and my ex fiance broke up. I want to be back with him, but at the same time I would refuse if he asked me. I know that sounds weird. I just wish things would have been different and he would have been more grown up. First off, we had a great relationship and he was a complete gentleman through the first part of it. We were so very much in love. We got engaged on Christmas 2013. Everything was going great until we started planning the wedding and where we would live afterwards. What happened to us was he, his aunt, uncle, and his two grown male cousins wanted me to move in with them after the wedding. And then this August they wanted us all to move out of state when the oldest cousin moved there for college after we were married this coming June. I didn't like the idea of living with them because it would destroy our marriage and we'd not have one bit of privacy whatsoever. Here is why I know this... Even when I was at his house, they were always up in our faces and getting him to clean the house and run errands, and other various things while I was left at the house with them many times while they made him go out. His aunt would also yell at him(my ex) and her two sons constantly while I was there and she would also interfere with our wedding plans. For instance she suggested we do a farm wedding at their house, and I rejected the idea because it would be very hard for the guests and more expensive on us. When I rejected her idea, my ex and his family got mad. One day I had found two nice trailers for sale and had asked him if we could go look at them and he said yes it was fine and he would love to. Well, when I set up an appointment with the owners for us to look at the two trailers, he and his family absolutely threw a fit and he absolutely refused. I postponed the wedding after much thought and prayer. When I postponed I told him that I wanted to postpone until we could find a place of our own to live after the wedding as a married couple. He then threw another tantrum and cried and his family got mad about me postponing. I got some pretty nasty phone calls from his aunt, and saw some pretty harsh facebook statuses about me and received some mean messages from his family. He finally agreed with the idea, but when he asked if I wanted to move out of state,and I said not really, he and his family got mad yet again. I told them that my mother had anxiety and panic attacks all the time and me leaving the state would make her get worse. He said he no longer had feelings for me and we broke up.
What do you think about what has happened? How can I overcome the loneliness? How long will it take to heal? I know it is much too soon to be in a new relationship and I am avoiding that. I have been hanging out with family and friends, and having alot of me time. But I just can't seem to shake this feeling. I miss who he was. What can I do to shake it off and how can I learn to love again without fear?

[Amanda]

It's obviously normal that you want him back, after all, you did love him, and I'm sure you still do. But, it seems to me like he didn't care about your opinion, and he just wanted things to go his way and only his and his family's opinions mattered. That doesn't seem fair to me. It's obviously going to be hard, and you're going to hurt a lot, but you need to know deep down inside that you guys broke up for the better. If he loved you, he would try to compromise with you and he would try to listen to your ideas too instead of just throwing tantrums like a child. If he's so attached to his family, then maybe it's for the better that he's with them instead of with you.

[freedom fighter]

It takes time to heal from a relationship, to let go emotionally..allow yourself to heal..one day at a time..