Am I over reacting? (relationship help)?

[Ada]

My current girlfriend dated this ass hole for about 12 months up until she dumped him around the start of November 2013. He would text her dozens of times a day, message her on Twitter and Facebook throughout the day, send her Snapchats, call her, etc. He is a complete ass hole; she has told me some of the things he'd do while they were dating like hang out with girls she didn't want him to, he would get mad at her and yell at her almost on a daily basis, and when she would be crying he would just ignore her and play video games or watch TV. Anyways, this harassment lasted almost two months before she blocked his number and all of his social media.

I would talk to her and try to help her with her relationship problems with him. Then I found out she liked me, so we started "talking". He found out and would threaten to slash my tires and beat me up. He is crazy. Before we were official, one night she text me and told me that she had been texting him, which really effing pissed me off. I was very close to just telling her "you know what. Take him back, I don't even care anymore." but I didn't. She knew it made me upset, so she stopped talking to him completely and that's when she blocked his number and social media.

Just tonight my girlfriend texts me that she wants to apologize to him and make things "okay" with him; not be friends, just be "cool" with him, and I'm in the worst effing mood. Am I over reacting for thinking she'll get back with him/still likes him?

[Gina]

Maybe she just wants to end things right between them. I would talk to her saying you're uncomfortable with it but you'll be there to support her.

[Jess]

Nope not at all. There is no need to.talk to.this guy, she probably still has feelings, even if she denies it.

[MM]

Take a deep breath. Then ask her - calmly - why it's so important to her to make things "okay" with someone who has done so very many things to both her and you that are not okay at all. Ask her exactly what it is she thinks she's apologizing for: wanting a relationship where she wasn't going to be yelled at and ignored every day? Ask her how realistic she thinks it is that he will want to try and make things "okay" without trying to suck her back into all of that. Tell her you are very worried - not just for the sake of your relationship, but for her - about the continued hold he seems to have on her thoughts, and you really think she should talk to a therapist about this before she talks to him. Because while you can't tell her who she should and shouldn't keep in her life, you also can't pretend you're okay with this idea.

If she still insists on reaching out, then unfortunately, there's nothing you can do about it, and you're not out of line to be worried she'll get herself mixed up with him again. But it is possible she just wants closure, and doesn't understand that trying to get it through him is not the best way to go about it. Before you go flying off the handle and make her think this is how all boyfriends act anyway, try to reason it out with her.