Loneliness, loneliness, loneliness.... any tips?

[hello!]

Hello. I'm gonna try to be as straight to the point and short as possible. Let me describe my social life. My social life is this: I have a couple of people to eat lunch in school with, sit next to in classes, ask about school assignments and exchange a few words with. That is my entire social life.

I don't have many friends at all. I don't have friends outside my own class. I don't have anyone to "go out" with. I have no one to text. I have no one to go together with on special events (like "fun events" or how you're gonna call it). I have never been in a relationship. I have never went to a single of one of those "teen parties". I have 59 friends on Facebook. I'm the opposite to outgoing and wouldn't describe myself as a very fun person. I don't have a single friend from the opposite gender (talking to 2 or 3 from the class occasionally doesn't count). I'm always silent when there are friends of friends around (for instance, a group of the people I'm usually with in school + THEIR friends).

Back when I lived in a smaller town, the situation was way worse. I'm thankful that I at least have someone in school to talk to. It wasn't very much like that in the smaller town, it was quite the opposite.

Now I'm thinking what to do. Is it worth it to change, or should I try to find a tactic to accept the reality and make my life busier with some hobby. I honestly don't know what to do anymore. All my 17 years I have been socially handicapped. What should I do?

[Anne]

You need to get involved! When I was younger/in grade school I was pretty shy in school. It wasn't because I was specifically a shy person, it just wasn't a situation where I thrived or even enjoyed it. I usually had a handful of friends, just not many. I joined theatre and started making more friends/meeting more people- and being more comfortable in social situations. Then later I joined a couple clubs at school. I was also very proactive/confident (I realize now) and I ended up completely turning my situation around.

Try 1 club or sport you think you'd enjoy. Allow it to snowball, be friendly, let things happen naturally but still be proactive. People in different groups are usually friends, so when you join the group you'll usually become part of it over time.

[Jake]

Dude, let me give a piece of advice. You are young, you can start building a better social life. Rule number one, be confident with yourself. Be polite to people and ALSO try to smile more. Im not saying you arent all these, but those small changes can make a great difference on how people look at you.

Dont be afraid to say hello o goodbye take care. RESPECT everyone.

Stand up for yourself and help other. If you want to make new friends that are girls, this is what they look for:

someone to talk to like every other human being. Be comprehensive.
someone who is polite and a gentleman.
well groomed. haircut, hands, and some perfume wouldnt hurt.
confidence.
dress well, dont dress the same way as you did 5 years ago.
independent meaning you dont let most of your emotions control you, and dont depend on others for everything.
SMART.
Dont make fun of girls, treat them well. Give them your seat if they dont have one.
SPEAK with confidence.
Share...dont be selfish or egocentric.
If a guy is bothering you, standup for yourself verbally.
EYE CONTACT and LISTEN when talking to girls.
Be mature, dont make dumb jokes insulting others.

If a girl ignores you even if you are being all these things in the list, its not YOU the problem, its her!

I mean, sometimes we get caught up in our own little world of highschool. Just talk and live as if you were going to die in a week! I mean I know that sounds wierd but seriously, NO EXCUSES NO REGRETS.

have courage, no one is going to "give" you friends. You have to make them on your own.

Remember the golden rule?

Go to stores and talk to employees, and work you verbal skills, be polite and ask for prices etc...you dont have to buy anything. If you see someone looking at the same things you are looking at, ask them something like "do you think its a good product?" they WILL respond if you ask them politely and with confidence in your voice.

Its all in your mind dude, only YOU can make a change in your life. I know it might seem scary at first, but when you do it again and again, your "fear" goes away.

Start practicing your social skills with your actual friends, and start from there to gain more confidence.

I remember when I was in 7th grade I was nervous when talking to girls, but I had to convince myself and admit that we only live once, and every day I was feeling sorry for myself, was a waste of time. Later in 9th to senior year, I had many friends from the opposite sex as well as guy friends.

Dude, just think about this. What would you say to yourself 10 years from now? Will you regret not having friends? The choice is yours. Dont be afraid to talk to people or the friends of their friends. Is they are around, be polite and say hi and goodbye.

Just think this

People are people...they have emotions, fears, feelings etc. The same as YOU. Dont make "talking to people" a big deal. If a girl rejects you, dont go and cry, just laugh on the inside and tell yourself that you ARE MAKING positive changes in your life, be a man and remmeber that there are many other people you can talk to.

The last paragraph you worte is pure BS....sorr but its true! The world is filled with people. If you isolate yourself, when youre 25 years old, you are going to regret not being able to START step by step day by day changing your life.

Sure you can have a hobby...BUT...you need people too.

Facebook....oh facebook...try to forget fb for a while when you are starting to change your social life.

Im 27...and being your age is awesome! Dont waste your life bro!!

WORST things are happening in the world, famine, wars, corruption, murders etc...

Dont let this negative thoughts of yours of "not being able to change or have friends" STEAL YOUR LIFE!!

Trust me, Whats the worst thing that can happen if you try to work on the things ive mentioned (in my opinion)??? you are not going to die...now THATS the worst thing that can happen...death...

Its all up to you, are you going to let the "fear" stop you? Or are you going to punch it in the face and start living your life?

remmeber that fear are just excuses for not doing something.

try changing first with your actual friends.

And remember, you dont need to have money to gain friends. I remember I read a book called "winning people" by john c maxwell 7 years ago, I read it just because I told myself that only good things will happen.

All you do in life, you need to have a "why"...a purpose...balance every aspect in your life:

health
family
school
friends
personal interest (computers, books, crafts, sports etc..)
church
etc
etc

every champion was once a contender that refused to give up!

Woking out boosts your confidence and motivates you, makes you feel better about yourself.

go out for runs around the block or a field or park. Get some sneaker, shorts and a tshirt and run dude!

trust me that working out (with caution if you life weights) will only do good in your life. warm up first!

I wish you good luck. Smile man cause you are alive and have a WHOLE life ahead of you.

you can do whatever you want to if you really wish it and ACT on it day by day...