How do I stop thinking about him? Why do I think he'll come back?

[Dollface91]

This has been the most disastrous breakup yet. It seems as though every breakup gets even more depressing and more difficult to recover from. To make matters worse, he won't even look at or talk to me. If you don't want anything to do with a person at least say so. I could deal with "It's over", but he has been shutting me out ever since this misunderstanding. After New Year's Day, I had wanted to talk to him about something important but he wasn't at either of his jobs. I tried to call him, but he wouldn't answer his phone. I went on his Facebook page to leave him a message. I've been on his page before, just to look at some of his pictures. I didn't notice this before, but his profile said that he was married. When we started dating, he said that he wasn't. I was angry and left a bitter voicemail on his phone. I cooled off later on that week and went to his job to talk to him. He just ignored me. He even yelled at one of his workers to "TELL HER TO FUCKING GO". After two months of apologizing, text messages, voicemails, waiting and hoping he'll call me and handle this like an adult, I just gave up. I sent him a message saying that I'm sorry, I'm leaving him alone, I'll be around if he ever wants to see me again, and that he was the best boyfriend I ever had. I'm floundering through my job, I recently finished my college courses for the semester. I'm hanging out with my uncles and friends. I'm trying to look for a better job. I'm trying to exercise and eat healthier. I plan to go to church on Sunday. Despite all of this, I can't stop thinking about him. Something in the back of my mind keeps telling me that he'll come back. Am I going daffy? The fact that he doesn't want to see me again after I've been nothing but good to him, literally makes my heart ache. The possibility that I might've been "the other woman" and all the sweet things he said to me were lies, nauseates me. I thank God that I didn't lose my "V" to him. He actually said the "L" word and it always scared me. You can't begin to fathom how terrified I was when he first said "it". Now all of a sudden, he doesn't want to acknowledge that I exist. What's going on and how do I fix it? Am I in denial of something? I've been incessantly mocked, criticized, emotionally neglected and undermined by two units that were supposed to love and support me. I've been used, abused, called out of name, betrayed, cheated on, beaten, sexually assaulted, threatened, had a gun pointed at my face by a few guys in my past that supposedly "loved and cared about" me. I've even been denied a stable, loving relationship that I deserved simply because his grandmother didn't like that I wasn't Samoan. Has all of this driven me to the brink of insanity?
I have stopped messaging him. I even deleted his number and text messages.

[Danyal]

I am really sorry to hear that But i am going to be honest and say that if he was the best boyfriend you ever had and was married when you guys started going out he was a really shitty boyfriend. You dont deserve to be treated like that no one does. I think you should just stop messaging him and try to forgat about him. He has hurt you and its time for you to move on to a better future. I feel as if you are loenly and want to be loved and want someone to love (i could be wrong but thats just how i feel). You need to understand that he technically cheated on you if he was "married" as you have stated when you two were going out. You should not think about him cause it seems like he has hurt you many times. You are worth more then that. You deserve someone who will be by yourside through thick and thin and someone who will become your lover and bestfriend. There could be a possibility where he was just after your virginity and just wanted sex (im just stating a possibility which i hope is wrong but could be right). You can't fix it a relationship is a two sided way so both people have to have the same feelings in order for it to be "Fixed" and if you are implying staying friends with him well if he does not want too there is nothing you can do but just move on. It may seem hard but I am sure you can do it. You have been through alot and honestly i feel like you have not yet found the right person for a beautiful person as yourself. I am sure you will overcome this hurdle but I found that the best time to get into a relationship when I am emotionally stable myself otherwise some of the smallest thing my signifcant other can do can easily hurt me. I don't think you are on the brink of insanity i just believe that you have had alot of bad relationships and have not found the ONE yet so if you keep searching I am sure you will find him. If you feel down alot spend time with family or close friends and try to be active around them. The reason i say that is because the easiest way i find to feel happy if i make someone else happy. Seeing the smiles on other peoples faces is where I find happiness. If i am sad and depressed it will bring the moods of others down aswell and i will be even more sad. So try to be happy and try making others happy and I am sure you will be happier.