I'm 17 and have absolutely no life?

[CoolBananaRamaLaura]

So I started college in September and I thought it was going to be a new start. I changed myself to be happier and more positive (despite having possible depression and anxiety) and I made 'friends'. A few months on and i rarely talk to anyone from my old school and these college 'friends' seem to either put me down (comment on my appearance, brag about how clever they are etc), leave me out or take advantage of my kindness. I've never really had friends and I've never had a partner (not that I care about that bit). I've also never been invited to parties, I've never been drunk or done anything like that because my 'friends' don't bother with me.

I'm not a particularly shy person. I'm not confident and I have no self esteem but i'm talkative and I'll pretty much make friends with anyone but I just can't seem to find decent people.

I've tried joining clubs (air cadets, kick boxing) but again, I never made any friends. This never used to bother me until I looked on Facebook at all my friends at parties and stuff. Now it makes me cry to think that I have no one. I spend my days sat inside on my ipad because there is nothing else.

I am trying to get a counsellor through college but I just don't see how a counsellor can help me make friends.
What should I do?

[Mimi]

A counselor might not be able to help you make friends but they can help you pinpoint why you are having such a difficult time of it and maybe offer suggestions on ways to overcome your depression and anxiety and not just put on a more positive face. Maybe group therapy would be more helpful as you might meet more people in your exact situation - someone that can really understand what you're going through can make a great friend. Very often, when you get to the root of depression - you find out that sadness was just covering up some seriously repressed anger...and it doesn't have to be about anything really dramatic that happened in your life - just the way you react to the little things...so if you can dig deep and learn to recognize when you're repressing feelings that surface as depression and anxiety - you might actually find you are happier which will allow you to be more open to inviting the right kind of people into your life. Also maybe try a club that requires more interaction...theater can be a great place to express yourself. Or volunteering where you are actually helping others gives you something to bond with other volunteers over.

[Mega]

Just be yourself cause thats all u can really do. Maybe you are overthinking this "friend" issue. Perhaps there isnt a problem at all? How about organizing a party yourself and invite the people you want to make friends with? That way more ppl will get to know you? I really wish you luck and I hope it gets easier

[Nick]

You need to open up a bit more.I'm a shy person too but I was very before.No one wants to be around people that don't talk and interact much.It's harsh but the truth, try joining clubs of your interests or the gym.
It's where you put yourself, you can't make a counselor get you friends.Grab a bit of confidence you seem like a nice person.It doesn't hurt to try.

Best of luck!

[Joe]

You have to be strong within yourself.You must like yourself and find happiness inside and build up your sense of self.Be true to who you are and people will find pleasure in knowing you if you have things in common.Don't look for them, let them find you.

[614]

Wow this sounds a bit like my story. I'm first year in college too, made a couple of friends last semester (but they are mostly ppl I talk to in class and to review with before exams), and I'm not shy either, it's just that I can be very reserved and particular to whom I talk to.
First to address the current "friends" matter; I personally would get rid of them immediately. Just lose contact with them (facebook, twitter, everything) and get a fresh start. You should never have to surround yourself with people who make you feel bad about yourself, exclude you or so on.
I mostly talk with my friends from high school (even though they attend schools all across the country) and my roommate (who is also a friend from high school). So one of my best pieces of advice is to contact some of your old friends, I'm sure they would be glad to hear from you and also they may be in the same boat as you (regardless what their facebook photos may reveal).
You are literally not the only person who hasn't made the most of her first year in college. Many of my friends (from other uni's), can relate and say they typically feel excluded all the time and haven't been much involved. The only place where my friends and I have had luck is through religious groups. Idk if you're religious or not, but you may find some really great ppl at a religious club who will be accepting and all share the same beliefs as you; and they will definitely have social non religious functions/parties you can attend.
Also maybe try getting a job or volunteer someplace. Great way to get out of the dorms, do something productive and meet new people.
And remember college isn't all about parties and getting high/drunk. Before I started that was sort of the person I wanted to be (like the sorority girl that goes to all the frat parties), but then I realized that it was all sort of a fantasy/ or illusion and actually being in college brought a new light to how those people really look and act (they rarely attend classes, make poor grades, always complaining about being broke, and definitely look like hot messes from time to time).
Try to talk to some of the shy people you have noticed in your classes, if not for socializing then at least to review with outside of class. And if you feel that all hope is lost completely for making new friends this semester (which it isn't, but if you see it that way), then look on the bright side and see that there is always next year (a new fresh start). And if you feel that there really isn't many people that you can relate with at your college, then you may consider transferring next year (if that's an option, I know it may not be for some).
I've just been looking forward to summer, when I can go back home, hang with family and hs friends, and possibly get a job. And I think I'll transfer next year. Not for social reasons really, but because I have a personality where I can't stay in one place for too long. I don't like getting too comfortable. So I'm ready to move on. And quite frankly, I'm purely looking forward to once I graduate out of college and head on to bigger and better things And I think you should do the same
You can go ahead and get a counselor if you think that may help. However I feel like it won't, but maybe it's worth a shot if your truly desperate. But only you can make friends for yourself.

Well I hope this was helpful for you I know it was for me, it's always nice to know you are not alone in a situation in life Please continue to look forward and embrace the future There is a great plan for all of us, so everything will work out for the better You will meet new ppl when you least expect it, so there's no reason to worry about it now/never Worrying only makes your life fly by quicker Try to find a bright side to everything, and you will be pleasantly surprised to what you'll see
Have a GREAT day and good luck with everything