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Confused Girl · 04-22-2014, 11:21 PM

Me and my boyfriend just celebrated our 6th anniversary last January. We have a 4 year-old daughter. Days ago, I just caught him cheating big time. This is the story:

Last June 2013, we had a fight because he caught me keeping in touch with my first boyfriend. We broke up. But it didn't last and in less than a month we made up. He confessed that during that time when we were apart, he hooked up with some girl but he told me that he already broke up with her the time we fixed our relationship. I never suspected him since I am not that kind of woman. For 8 months we been like that, me trying to please him to make up for my mistakes and him making all those demands and always suspecting about me that I am doing something wrong again. But just few days ago, I don't know what pushed me but I stalked the facebook profile of that girl he told me he was hooking up with and my instincts didn't fail me. I saw a status which said " <3 See you soon _____ (name of my boyfriend)" and the date was february 14. I was so shocked since this never happened to us before (me catching him cheating). I didn't see it coming. I confronted the girl first to confirm and she told me everything. They've been together for 8 months and she claimed that she didn't know we were together again. Had she known, she would've stayed away from us. Now to make the long story short I broke up with my boyfriend. And now he's asking for a second chance.
He said that he loves us so much (me and our daughter) and that what he did was a big mistake and that he'd change and that he never loved the girl and so on and so forth.

Should I believe him that he'd not do it again and give him a second chance or should I just end everything? Please help, I'm so confused right now.
Another question: when a man says he'll never cheat again, would there be a chance that he'd really mean it? Like, do men change really, or is a cheater always a cheater? Thanks, I really appreciate all your comments/advices.

Wondering · 04-22-2014, 11:31 PM

what does he DO? do not listen to what he SAYS! especially if he always says one thing, and not do it!

personally, I would DUMP. drop it like a hot potato.

answer mine please: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...323AAPxr3N

Kaitlyn. · 04-22-2014, 11:47 PM

if you two are meant to be I would carry the relationship on. obviously you don't want your daughter to not see her dad all the time because I remember when my mum and dad was going to split up I was so up set because I didn't know what was going to happen. so in my opinion everyone deserves a second chance. Smile

hope u sort it out xx

Wifebeater · 04-22-2014, 11:57 PM

so he lied to you for 8 months but since he got caught now he is sorry and loves you. lmfao are you seriously considering this . don't be stupid .

if you stay with him because of your daughter you are even dumber than I suspect you are.

Mahogany Queen · 04-23-2014, 12:11 AM

You answered your own question.. Should I give my CHEATING boyfriend a second chance.? It really is your decision but you will be the one who has to live with it.. You have to decide if this is the life you want for yourself and your little girl.. She also deserves the best family life.. There is a book I really like go to jw.org to get suggestions it is called family happiness how to find it.. I wish you well. Live long love life.....

BILL · 04-23-2014, 12:20 AM

im sorry but what he did is no worse than you.you were keeping in contact with you ex and no one knows the exact status of that relationship.you both cheated,he forgave you,so you cant forgive him.Is it because his was worse than yours,come on where do you draw the line.there is no gray area.cheating is cheating.you both either split or get help counseling.its time to grow up and take responsibility for your actions. it can work if you really want it to.life isnt perfect.everyone is entitled to one mistake.

Erin · 04-23-2014, 12:29 AM

There's no second chances after cheating... You can stay and always feel insecure and like you can't trust him... Cause that feeling will never go away. Or you can leave and give yourself a new chance to be happy

just_my_opinion · 04-23-2014, 12:33 AM

I'm not going to address rather you should give him another chance, because only you can answer that. But I do find it ironic that you're questioning if "once a cheater always a cheater" is accurate since YOU were sneaking around on him (maybe it didn't go so far as he went with this girl, but it's the same basic concept - you were sneaking around, talking to another guy and hiding it) - so YOU should know better than anyone else if someone cheats once can they change - are YOU still cheating?

sj · 04-23-2014, 12:37 AM

A one night stand is a mistake. He had a an actual relationship with another women while lying to you for 8 months. I don't think I could ever move past that kind of betrayal. That's in a whole other league. You should move on. By the way if he's capable of this he would likely do it again.

thomas t · 04-23-2014, 12:45 AM

Cheating breaks the bond of trust between two people in a relationship. I am not sure if it can ever be repaired to be what it once was. Cheating changes people, if this was completely out of character for him, and he truly does love u, then seeing and feeling ur hurt, while feeling the hit to his self respect, yes he could change.