WHY doesnt he allow me to go in his phone if i know for sure nothings in there?

[Jessica]

my significant other and i have been together for what is 4 years now. In our past we have broken up because of trust issues on his end and during our break up we made agreements in which we both have broken as far as just working on ourselves and not talking or having any doings with the opposite sex.

a year afterwards we decided to try it again. and i can honestly say everything in the relationship is fine minus the fact that stuff he has done has caused me to still have my trust issues. i feel he has trust issues also but not as bad as mines because i only communicated with the opposite sex but i feel as though he has done wayyy more during our break up that he like any other guy wont admit to.

any the main problem i have is the point that whenever i ask for his phone that he has a lock on, its a problem. i have the password to his phone and social networks and he doesnt know although hes the one who gave it to me a looonnngg time ago. i would ask for his phone only to see if he would make a big deal or give it to me. and as usual its always a big deal and" thats my privacy, we arent married, i dont go through your phone" which is a lie he sneaks through my phone and thinks i dont know like when im sleeping .

everytime i go in his phone or social, nothings there so why is it such a big deal when we have been together for 4 years? Advice please? and i know the usual we should break up, trust issues arent good etc.

[Ez2Tock2]

A Relationship with some one is like an introduction to marriage. You learn and find out "What it would be like, to be 'til death do you part' with this person". Communication is vital. If you can't "talk to" -OR- "with" your mate or are AFRAID too, you don't have a RELATIONSHIP. You have a Companion by your side. If you are not 50/50 with each other, one of you has a "Support System". With good communication established, neither Mate should Never Ever ask the World (Yahoo Answers) or ANYONE something about your Mate, that you can't ask THEM. If there is an issue between you two, no one can sense the emotion or thoughts of the issue or between/with you two. If you are in a Relationship and want it to run smooth you need to establish 50/50 boundaries. 50/50 is an understanding of equal responsibility so that NO ONE MATE feels the pressure always bearing the responsibility. 50/50 is taking turns paying, cooking, cleaning and involvement in being responsible (equally). This includes entertainment w/ expenses, sex and boredom. If you force yourself to be comfortable or tolerate the way you two are with each other for FEAR of being alone or not ever finding anyone again. You are NOT GOING TO MAKE IT and all your Fears will happen anyway, after you have lost time, money and patience with your "Wrong Mate".
Respect. Trust, Honesty, Communication, Understanding, Cooperation, Responsibility 50/50

[Jennifer]

If you two really love or like each other, trust issues can get passed, even thing has its time. May be he just don't won't one of those I know everything about you relationships he wants his secrets and you yours. About him going in you phone I would speak to him about him , let him know that you know or surprise him wile he is going through it and explain him that the problem isn't him going through your phone but him doing it behind your back,

[Jovanna]

Well like he said its a privacy thing . Lol i dont do anything and i dont even let my friends ho through my phone half the time. Also guys are weird. They think we'll flip over anything so maybe thats why he doesn't let you. And you should just tell him that you know he looks through your phone so stop lying lol he'll most likely straighten up.

[the one]

Maybe he's testing your truth, don't fail.

[krystal]

It shouldn't be a big deal. If he has nothing to hide then there is no reason you shouldn't be able to be on his phone. and even if he isn't hiding anything; then why is he so concerned with you not being on his phone. I understand privacy and your not married. but that has nothing to do with it. My fiancé and I talk about everything. The reason why weve lasted 6 years is because there are no secrets.. there is trust.. no breaks... im allowed on his phone, I don't think hes doing anything I trust him but Im allowed on his phone to do stuff, I check his messages for him, I check his fb for him. because we trust eachother and he does the same on mine. This situation will never get better unless you both sit down and decide whats important. if there is too much insecurity and privacy you will never last. in a relationship you no longer have privacy from one another, you are awhole now instead of 2 parts. You both need to decide what you priorities are in the relationship and what you trust level is.

[frog]

If he did "wayyy more" during your BREAKUP, it's ultimately none of your business, and has no affect on you because you were not in a relationship with him at the time... So if that's what's causing you to have trust issues, you need to put it behind you (you're "making a mountain out of a molehill," and just looking for a reason to be upset).

As far as not wanting you to see his phone, he may genuinely feel like it's a matter of you needing to respect his personal space... but I agree with you on this one (if there's nothing to worry about, it shouldn't bother him... and it's suspicious for him to make a big deal out of it if there's nothing to worry about... especially if you've SEEN him going specifically through your phone... it couldn't have possibly been his phone, and you're not just assuming that he goes through your phone while you're actually sleeping).

It's also possible that he does have something to hide. He could erase messages from his phone or social media as soon as he's done with them (if he's smart that's what he would do if he were doing anything suspicious)... and he may be concerned that someone will eventually message him and you'll see it before he does, or before he deletes it. (If he's messaging them on FaceBook, you can still see what he's said... even if he deleted it... just go to their profile page, and click as if you're going to send them a message... should allow you to see anything they've said to one another.)

Of course, it could also be that he knows you're snooping and it's a very clear sign that there are still trust issues (and he wants you to just "get over it"... whatever real reason you may have to distrust him, which would not include anything he may have done while you were not together... and trust him).