Help? Am I overreacting? I desperately need advice!?

[loudcamp585]

My fiance(?)...I question that bc I'm not sure anymore. Together 3 years, all was great until he found Facebook and twitter. I always used them to friend real friends and family to stay in touch and he'd occasionally look at mine, sometimes he wouldn't like what my friends would say and he'd ask me to delete them...no big deal or he'd complain about something I'd write so I'd delete it. But he finally got his own. I found out he was adding strange women that he didn't know...all of whom look slutty with little clothing. I told him I was uncomfortable with it, so he blocked me instead of deleting them. He would freak if I added strange men. Anyway, for the last 5 months all he has been doing is friending or following women like that, while refusing to add me. Mind you, he is NOT adding strange men...only women! He says these women are his "fitness motivation". He doesn't flirt or so he says and I have no evidence, however I KNOW he is private messaging them too because he has told me he is adding them and messaging...I think just to hurt me is why he tells me. But I also know he is anyway because he is now adding people he follows on twitter and they don't have their fb contacts posted so he has to be asking them. Now, yes I know I need to leave because he doesn't care about my feelings, I told him it hurts me bc it's like they matter more. He says to cry him a river he doesn't care. But my question is: is it ok to do what he's doing or am I overreacting?

[Erika]

He doesnt care about you. He is searching for these women for several reasons like porn, feeling needed and cheating.

[Schuyler]

WHY are you even ASKING this? He is a TOTAL scumbag loser abuser a$$hole; why do you even CARE? How much more proof do you need? He is lying and either cheating and planning to cheat, get him out of your life PERMANENTLY.

[revsuzanne]

You are not overreacting and yes, what he is doing is wrong. He has discovered the most passive-aggressive way possible to get rid of you.
The fact that he essentially hijacked your account with his control trip was bad enough.
I would say that he has the maturity of a gnat.
Unfriend him, block him from your accounts, kick him to the curb and go find yourself a proper young man.
I suggest that a nice place to meet men, if you are old enough, is the nearest indoor gun range... always very nice guys.

[swbarnes2]

And you want to marry this guy...why?

I don't get your question. Why would a woman with a brain be engaged to a pig like that? He can do whatever he wants...as a single man. So make him a single man.

[Becky]

everyone has different opinions, but no. i think what he is doing is absolutely wrong. he should grow up and let you have friends. everyone needs them and should keep them. a friend is usually around longer than a boy/girl anyways. if he was making you delete people and your own status' then he's turning around and adding other women, that's not even respectful. he's trying to walk all over you, tell you what to do, and then do the same thing. Im sorry, but men don't look at other women and message them on facebook for fitness motivation. If you're telling him that this is hurting you, and if he really loved you he would quit it, but obviously he's telling you to go cry and a river and he don't care. I would try and sit him down and tell him you're at your last straw and it's either he quits it or you're gone, and then you'll see how much he really cares. But remember, Facebook/Twitter do ruin relationships. it happens all the time. Good luck.

[Rival1812]

It doesn't matter what he is doing. It matters how you feel about what he is doing. then you bring it up to him and he responds like that? If you aren't married and don't have children. I would strongly suggest ending the relationship. I've been down that road. Trust me.. Through Tears, and fire you will be transformed and into a happier person before the relationship.

Oh and if you wonder where his passion has gone... Its not lost in the stress of life or under the bed.. No.. He's withdrawn his passion in preparation for the end.

I'm sorry.. Listen to Dashboard Confessional, Taking Back Sunday, & Bayside...

Cheers ~

[???]

No, what he's doing is not okay and he knows it. If he's started getting more fit or something, he's probably decided he needs a new woman to go with his new bod (which I'm guessing isn't *that* great). I would tell him that you're happy he got social media accounts because it showed you the kind of man he really is, tell him that you don't mind living together until he can afford to move out but you're not dating him anymore. Then go about life like you're single. He'll regret his decisions someday but for now "ignorance is bliss."

[Liz]

This is not about facebook or twitter. It's about your caveman of a boyfriend having double standards - he's allowed to do things but God forbid if you did the same - and you being stupid enough to obey his rules. We teach people how to treat us by showing them what we will or will not tolerate. You have well and truly taught him that you're a doormat.

[Alicia]

Wow, what a loser! I wouldn't trust him for a second and you're not overreacting! Staying with him and continuing your relationship would be the Biggest mistake you could make! The heartache now wouldn't even come remotely close to the heartache you WILL experience if you follow through and marry him! Make the right decision!