My boyfriend and the Military?

[greatcloth447]

My boyfriend+Military= Possible heartbreak?
My boyfriend and I have been dating for 10, almost 11, months. We are both seniors in High School so I understand that there's a possibility we won't last.... But I feel that we have what it takes. When we first started talking he said he was planning on joining, but at the time I didn't think about it because I didn't think we'd even last this long. Today he had a meeting with a recruiter and he's seriously thinking about joining. He ask what I thought and since it's something he's really interested in, I don't want to tell him I'd be upset to see him go off. A friend told me that if you're not in a legit, serious relationship that the recruiters will try to convince you to break off a relationship-- is that true? I'm just terrified he's going to break up with me and I honestly don't know what to do.

Is what I was told about the recruiters true????????

Should I worry about him breaking things off if he joins???

If we stay together and he goes off the military how do I cope with this?????????

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[Dian]

U really need to decide if u want to be a military widow ! Why aren&#x27;t U going on to college ? If he wants the military, fine BUT what do U want ?!?!?! Why not college for U ?!?!?! Prior to dating him, what were your plans, goals, dreams and desires for after U graduated HS ? U should not give up those dreams !!!!!

[menykats]

I was a Navy wife for over 35 years. I was dating my future husband in high school, and he joined the Navy Reserve when he was 17 and was still in high school himself. You are listening to what people say who have no idea of what the military is like. It is not true that recruiters try to break up a relationship. Your boyfriend is no more likely to break things off with you if he joins the military, than he is if he does not. A recruiter is not going to suggest that he do so. A recruiter might personally prefer that a new enlistee just coming in be unmarried (simply for financial reasons -- the new enlistees are lower ranks and therefore make less money), but he will not insist upon it.

If your boyfriend joins the military, it is my personal belief that he should avoid the Army because it is Army personnel who are having the "hard time" now (and aways have had), and who are stationed in remote parts of the world and are exposed to danger. But of course I am prejudiced because I was Navy Aviation.

If he "goes off"?: For one thing, you can visit him at his duty station. In 9 out of 10 times (except for Army personnel), he will be stationed somewhat in the continental U.S. You can talk to him every day on FB; in a text message; on the phone; write letters, etc., just as you do now -- he is not going to the far side of the Moon.

If you and he decide to marry later, you will immediately become a military dependent. You and your children can accompany him to any duty station he is assigned to, anywhere in the world, and the military will pay all your moving expenses. "Moving expenses" include all your household effects, your car, and your pet goat.

You and your children will be provided with free medical care (at any civilian doctor's office and/or hospital), and at any military medical facility anywhere in the world where he is stationed. He will have 30 days paid vacation leave every year (plus the usual holidays and plus the "time off" while he is in the process of being transferred) that he can take in whatever increments he wishes.

He will work a 7 to 4:30 job, Monday through Friday. At the end of the workday, he comes home -- just like a civilian job. Maybe one weekend a month, he may catch the "duty", which only means he is "on-call" and has to basically stay within reach of a telephone. You could not plan any "out of town" trips during that weekend, but you know about it well in advance and make your plans accordingly.

A career in the military is not a bad thing at all. The longer he is in, the more he will advance in rank and therefore the more money he will make. He and his family will be able to live quite comfortably on his salary. There is another thing: If you are career military, where ever you may be transferred, you always seem to meet up with some of the people you were friends with at one of your previous duty stations. So, you never really "lose" your friends. It IS true that military people have a different "mind-set" than do civilians, but I cannot explain that to you; you will understand if you become a military wife.

If I were you, I would not worry about "losing" him to the military. If you decide to marry him after you finish high school, you will find the military life to be a very rewarding way to live. I loved every minute of it.