Why do we do things that depress us? How to quit?

[Bubbly but]

Like for instance, Facebook depresses me and for awhile I still went on there thinking its get better but then I realized I was more satisfied not being on there. I didn't feel ostracized for being a loner or weird.

It's the same when I often look for another chance to be in a relationship, I miss male affection. ( I'm an 18 year old female) but I don't require it. In liking for it it depresses me and I am not myself.


Why do we strive to be at a social norm even when it depresses us? I am a loner and often like to be by myself however seeing couples or groups often makes me feel lonely, but in a group I am lonlier.



I stopped worrying and cutting negative things out of my life and it makes me feel happier and fufilled. So why do we repeat negative influences?

[C.J. Marello]

Yeah your going through a faze at your age. Im 15 boy and i been feeling depress. What i do to fix it is have mp4 player and have my favorite songs and go to a gym and work out hard. I felt sorrow for this world and felt bad for people but im just keeping myself busy by going to the flea market and buying classics things and have collections and listening to music and going to the gym. Try to stay busy

[runwithme.]

I completely agree with you about facebook. I've gotten rid of mine for almost a year now, and I don't miss it at all. I now look back at it and think that it was such a HUGE waste of my time and I really hate the person who forced me to make it to begin with.

As for negativity, I think sometimes we get use to it as being part of our day to day life, and sometimes it gets hard to get rid of because we are so familiar to it and because it gives us certainty.
Once we cut it out, we're left with this unknown and that can be scary for a lot of people.

For example, a lot of people have a hard time cutting out bad friends simply because they've known them for a long time. They are familiar with them and cutting them out will leave them with the feeling of uncertainty of finding new friends or being happy without them. A lot of people rather choose the certainty of negativity than the uncertainty that new change will bring. Although, most people also do work up the courage with time to embrace new change.

Same with facebook. We become familiar to it, put it into our daily routine, and it almost becomes an automatic tick to check it every few minutes, and it becomes difficult to break out of this routine and accept a new one in fear of the unknown that comes with changes.

Also, for your example concerning fitting in with society's norms, I think it's because societal pressure is so incredibly annoying to deal with. People make such huge deals out of people who are different. Our society puts extroverts on such a pedestal, and it's a huge problem. Many other societies does not do that to the extent that American society does. In a sense, our society oppresses quiet, introverted individuals so much!

Of course, I think most people do eventually just stop caring about what other people think and strive for their own happiness. It's too much work to care about other people's opinions!

[dreamer.rc42]

Not everything that depresses you is negative. Sometimes the things that depress us the most are things that we really need and want in life but don't believe that we can have. Chasing these things makes us feel like we're being true to ourselves by attemptimg to fulfill the void that not having it is leaving. Even if you think you already know the end result, you being depressed, you try anyway because you know that there is always that chance that that time might be different. Its kind of a hope that the fear of being depressed can't even take away. In this case its wiser not to quit but instead to change the way you approach whatever it is, you can probably be equally or even more satisfied having these things that you're missing instead of seeking comfort in running from them.

[minh chau]

Dear, I'm a loner too and I have already deleted 2 facebook accounts. I still can't understand why people share and argue so much on fb without being affected emotionally.
I have read somewhere that we humans have a tendency to stick to hurtful feelings/memories. You can change that but it's gonna take a while, with a lot of mind power. Just cheer up. You're still young and please remember that you are not the only one. And yes, keep being busy is also a good option.