Women I need serious help ( a little long)?

[Candyman]

Hey everyone a little background on me I'm a 25 year old guy , going to the police academy Monday. I'm a a very insecure self conscious guy. So I get very standoffish, and defensive easily. Ive been in love with a girl I've known my whole life (since 7th grade), but she's been in a relationship for 3 years! and we got into a huge argument Sunday night while we were drunk. She cried a lot and screamed cause I said she was an acquaintance and she said we ere best friends. The argument escalated and it turned crazy direction when I asked if something else was bothering her which led to her telling me her dad use to hit her when he came home drunk. Also saying how I was giving everything ,I never been through anything and she wasn't popular when we were younger. (All irrelevant stuff) I started crying because she was crying so much, and I told her about to mom passing when I was 18. It was an embarressing/emotional moment we had.

I talked to her 2 days ago apologizing, and saying we are best friends and that I never seen her open up like that. She said she was over it, she didn't care but for me to stop mentioning the night she wanted told me she wanted to kiss me (which happened in May) because it's embarrassing. Her relationship was on the rocks at that time. I didnt 't know I can get to her like that but I said I would text her Friday to hangout and make it up to her. Here's my questions 1. Should I text her? 2. Seeing stuff with her and her boyfriend on twitter/Instagram/ Facebook kills me! How can I move on from her? 3. He won't admit it but did/does she have feelings for me? I sound like a mental case writing this but I want her so bad but I never felt good enough

[Eli]

Insecurity at age 25? Holding back your own life because of her easily little relationship? Bull. Get out there. You have 3 choices..
1. Tell the girl how you feel
2.Find someone new
...OR...
3. Live the life as a lonely unloved freak
.(seriously dude, chase your dreams. The worst that can happen is failure)

[Cindy C]

Hey candyman, sounds like she is taken. go do good at the police training and work on that part of your life. she must like all that attention. go find someone who is not involved. good luck.

[Sue C]

You told her you WOULD text her on Friday, DO IT!!! Don't let her down, you gave her your word, now keep it. Forget all the things about her ex boyfriend. If she still wanted him, she sure would have told you not to contact her. Get over this "mental case" of not feeling good enuf. You now have something positive to look forward to. Put her past behind you, as that's where it all belongs, make a new beginning. You can do it if you make up your mind to it. If you're going to be a Policeman, you've got to toughen up, now is the time to do it. I say that because my own cousin is now a retired Policeman/Detective. He loved his job, I hope you make out well with it...all the best to you...

[Mary]

Police academy and you get defensive easily? Boy are you in for a ride! Perhaps this is what you need, some distance and some training. Why don't you go through P.O.S.T. school first and once you graduate then revisit the situation. If you said you were going to text her, be a man of your word and text her. You said you were going to hang out and make it up to her so do it, but don't get all deep and romantic she has a boyfriend.

You may want her, but she is taken. Tell her you are going through P.O.S.T. school and are interested, but won't date someone who is already in a relationship. If she is interested she has a couple of months, (or however long your training takes), to sort things out and end her relationship. Nothing sexier than a guy with scruples imho.

[Crazydress143]

This isn't about a relationship or non relationship between you and her -- it's about you suffering from very low self esteem and allowing it to shred your life. Get thee some counseling pronto, if your wallet or health insurance will cover it. If not possible (it's expensive) then at least start reading and go to some self help meetings -- a great first read is "Adult Children of Alcoholics" by Janet Woititz -- even if your parents never drank. Follow that one with "Struggle for Intimacy" -- same author. Find a local meeting of Adult Children Anonymous (ACA) or if not available, find Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACOA). Something happened in your youth that needs to be faced and overcome, after which you'll be much better equipped to face the world of romance. If you can't get counseling now, plan to do so as soon as you can. You're worth it, you deserve it, and nobody else is going to provide it for you -- you must be kind to yourself.

[Cookie]

Your not a mental case .Anyone would love to have such a friend like you. Best friends open up and if you both were drinking then emotions run high and sharing these stories is a good thing,but alcohol will bring on the tears leave the alcohol alone.You are going to the police academy on monday Congrats. This is your main concern right now your future.Loving someone since childhood is a normal thing and being friends all these years has kept that love.I feel that your feelings are stronger for her ,and if she cares for you and has feelings for you then she needs to let go of this guy she is with ,and leading you on is so Wrong . Stop saying and thinking your not good enough because you are,and for now concentrate on your future.Stop apologizing to her. stop looking at her facebook page your 25 yrs old not 16. You don't have to make it up to her you did nothing wrong. Her involvement with this guy made you think you were not as close and that's normal. She considers you her best friend then fine . Text her and go out for coffee or dinner stay away from the alcohol and just relax if it's meant to be it will .Just don't dwell on all that facebook instagrams twitter it's all about showing everyone who and what and why ....Concentrate on the police academy