Why are so many people cheating on their spouses on facebook, etc. and don't consider it a form of cheating?

[Jasmine]

Look through my questions asked in my profile and you will see that there was facebook drama in my marriage. It was the fact that this woman said that she has been with my husband, which to this day still denies any involvement with her. Well I just decided to ask her why she is doing this and she says that it's because she has been with him for 2 years but claims that they dated since February 2011. That's not two years, that's three. To me that is just one way that I know she is lying. I also asked her that since she likes to send me pics of my husband and claim that she is with him, show me a current pic with the date taken. She responds with this: I am not wasting my time talking to you. He doesn't want to talk to you so let him go and move on. " My husband denies involvement and with that comment, it seems that she doesn't have any proof. At this point, I decided to walk away because it's he said, she said stuff and with her harassing me, I don't deserve that. She got into his facebook and now he no longer has one. If I choose to work things out, I think that one stipulation is that facebook is not allowed to be used. But what are you opinions on it? And can facebook really make or break a marriage? I mean, anyone can lie about any and everything on facebook. What are you thoughts?
Yes, I see that facebook is trouble. I use facebook for mostly business purposes but I even get tired of it. I deactivated my account. But this woman seems to be obsessed with him. Something had to happen and then because he cut her off or he lead her to believe that it was something and backed away, she just snapped. But it takes two to tango. I can see if she didn't know he was married but the fact that she says "Yes I know you are married to him but I am with him" means she is a slut.

[Liz]

Low-class people with no morals and no sense of decency have always cheated on their partners, even before facebook was a thing. And those same people, being unwilling to take responsibility for their actions, have always tried to justify their cheating or make it seem like it's not their fault or just flat-out denied that they did anything wrong. Likewise, betrayed spouses living in denial have always believed the liars and pointed the finger of blame at the other woman, as if it didn't take two to tango. None of this is new.

[Sue C]

Honey, dear old Face Book has cause SOO MANY problems between couples I could care less about it. I have my own Face Book but NEVER go on it. The only time I even "touch" it is when my Grand Daughter sends things out, I'm on her list, I get her zillions of messages all day, all nite. I do not mind it with her, but otherwise, have actually learned to loth it. I never heard so many problems it causes in relationships & marriages. If it were myself, I would say NO Face Book & stay completely away from it & do NOT touch it. Just from your bit of dealing with it, look what it did to you!!! Just plain set up an agreement there is to be NO Face Book & stick to it. I don't feel that's asking too much...all the best to you, honey...

[Bradley]

The simple answer is that technology and social media have made it far easier to flirt and to possibly cheat. Most of the time someone finds someone from their past and at first has an innocent conversation with them. Of course it's build and builds from there and because its not face to face the people involved reason in their heads that its just innocent fun. Well that innocent conversation goes from innocent to flirting to full blown emotional affair. Soon thinking about hooking up could be a real possibility depending on geographic circumstances. Welcome to to social media world. Yes their have always been cheaters but now with the ease of communication those who would normally never stay end up straying because they lost themselves online. In your case a person became obsessed with your spouse somehow and is trying to destroy your relationship. If you know it's not true just keep ignoring her until she moves on to her next obsession.

[me]

it's wrong

[Bill D]

My thoughts are, as I have said to a gew people on Yahoo Answers and elsewhere, that people have become reliant on Facebook, Twitter, text messaging, and other (anti)social networking sites to do their conversing. Many people are so dependent on it that they have almost forgotten how to interact with others in the real world, face to face. This is clearly evident from the number of partnerships and marriages that result from "online" interaction, whether it be dating sites or social networking, but what we aren't being shown amongst the percentages is how many of those pertnerships last more than a year.

It has become much easier over the last 4 or 5 years to communicate through facebook because so many people these days have fancy phones with Internet connection on which they can install all these applications. A lot of people (men and women) actually forget that they are crossing over the line of fidelity in a relationship when they start flirting on facebook, etc. They can tell little white lies to make themselves more macho or sexy. It is no less blatant than a married man going out with the guys and spending the night in a club chatting up a women. Whether or not he actually sleeps with her is beside the point, he is still cheating on his partner.

One of the problems with facebook is that it will pop up "Do You Know ...." and often show people who were at the same school, by virtue of the fact that people mention this in their profile, or their friends have mentioned it. I'm pretty sure that there are occasions where someone that the guy fancied when he was at school pops up as a suggested friend. There's nothing wrong with a guy having online female friends, but sometimes before they know it they are exchanging personal details and the flame that never transpired whilst at school is suddenly possible.

Although facebook does have it's very legitimate uses, I hate facebook. Although I don't think it has necessarily changed people any more than would have been the case (because if facebook didn't exist, another site would have started), but it has made it very easy to cheat on partners.

You just have to read that statement you quoted to realise that some people these days equate having someone as a facebook friend to "being with them", and others (mostly men I would guess) can dismiss flirting and sexy talk over facebook as "we're just friends and were having a laugh". These kinds of opposing viewpoints, changeable dependent on the situation, are what make facebook dangerous to some relationships.

If you want my advice, just ditch him. If he can't tell the difference between being faithful and getting it on with someone on facebook, then it is possible he will mix up the two principles further on down the line in the real world.

[.]

I think its because their wives are fat and unattractive.