My girlfriend of 4 years broke up with me, am i doing the right thing?

[Amateurtray400]

First off thank you all for reading! So i was with my girlfriend for 4 years. We were happy for the first 3 years until I think she changed. She joined a sorority this year in college. Before this, neither of us really drank or partied. I'm 21 and she is 20. I have occasional drinks and so does she. Anyways, ever since she has joined I feel she has changed. I have talked to her roommates as well and they agree. She also lost one of her best friends due to them having problems. She has now wanted to drink more than ever and she went to a frat house the day we broke up. She then proceeded to go on a date party to a frat house the next week with a "friend". Now i know she wasn't cheating on me and her friends said she wasn't. But the girl i started dating changed. Our relationship became boring. So she proceeded to break up with me saying "she needs a break and figure out what she wants in life" She has been hanging out with some of her friends who are not good influences lately as well. I was upset at first but now I'm thinking I didn't want to be with the girl that changed. I have quit texting her at all and unfollowed her on instagram and snapchat so I didn't have to see her cause that would only make it hard seeing her all the time. So my question is am I doing the right thing in not talking to her and unfollowing her and stuff? I honestly don't know if we will ever get back together. Thanks! Any advice would be appreciated.

[Chriss]

Well you will feel this after some time. You will feel very very bad. Worst feeling of life. Just go to her. Catch her and kiss. It will make her slow down and then talk to her quitly and seriously and see what happens

[Jay]

You're absolutely doing the right thing. At the core of every break up is the feeling of being "trapped" by the person who does the dumping. You're handling the situation very well because most people do exactly the opposite - the cry, plead, beg, text/call even MORE than before, sometimes stalk, etc. Basically - they try to confine the person who feels trapped and try and prevent them from leaving. That can't be done. The best way to preserve your dignity and self-respect and to give you the best chance at getting her back is to let her have the freedom she so desperately wanted. She may need time to go out there and do what she felt she was missing out on before she realizes what she had with you and misses that even more. If you still feel the same when she comes crawling back, great. Unfortunately by that time you may have moved on as well. That's the game of love. But for now, do what you need to do to protect yourself from getting hurt even more. I think that unfollowing her is a good idea because seeing pictures of her doing whatever with whoever isn't going to help you feel better.

[Alexandria]

I think you should talk to her. Don't just shut out and ignore her. Explain that she's hurting you and you just want to be happy preferably with her in your life. Maybe she needs a little space, just be sure that's what she wants and she isn't just using that as an excuse to be single and drag you along.

[devonian Rodders]

Four years is a long time, but if things are strained, then the route you are taking is the right one.
There may be reasons unknown to you why she has resorted to drinking, but if she does not want to talk about it, thn there is no need to press her for an explanation.
Whilst an explanation might satidfy your mind, some girls have peculiar reasons for breaking up.

[Mabe]

You are doing the right thing by ending it with her, and letting go. You heard right when she said she wanted a break. A break is a break, and it's the same thing as ending what you both had going on. She's already moved on when you noticed the change. Be glad you know it now before it went any further with you trying to go back and talk to her. This was the best way she had in telling you that she wasn't interested any longer, and her feelings changed about the kind of life she wants now. Start treating other girls nice, and pick the one that treats you nice, and let this one go.

[James Blackley]

Here's the problem-

This is a highschool romance (or was one) and you guys had an innocent/long lasting relationship going on but she has realized she's 20 and doesn't want to be tied down to anyone, and you really can't fault her for that

As for her drinking, I'm not condoning getting drunk every night but she's a college student and that's what they do... they love to party, drink, screw lots of people... basically live the bachelor/bacherlotte lifestyle.

This is a phase she is going through, eventually she will realize she wants more out of life then getting drunk every weekened or getting boned by the 1st guy she sees.

Trust me man I know the type, I've been to college before and trust me it happens a lot more then you think. One of my sister's went through that phase in her very eary 20's where she'd go out clubbing with her girls, smoke weed, hookup with random guys but she grew out of it eventually meeting a great guy who she settled down with and now they have a child together, she no longer goes out drinking or clubbing, if anything the odd time she may have her friends over on a weekend and get hammered but its few and far between.

I think you are being rather judgemental and uppity with her if you want my honest opinion. No you don't have to go out and party with her, no you don't have to drink and no you don't have to like her friends but really to toss her out like she is trash isn't cool man, it's you with the problem, not her.

This shows me you don't love her, you love her for who you want to be but not unconditionally. If you did, you would accept her faults and all and you wouldn't judge her or look down upon her for wanting to party or get drunk in college.

Are you making the right decision? You are because clearly you aren't her future, if you can't even accept her present!

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