He is messing with my head and this hurts?

[K]

Please do not bother lecturing me on this subject. I'm already hurting enough right now as it is. As most of you know, I got feelings for a married co-worker almost 2 years ago. I didn't know he was married until I was pretty infatuated. Trust me, I've tried hard to not have any feelings for him, but he leads me on. He's been ridiculously flirty with me since he realized I have feelings for him. After I quit in July for unrelated reasons, I began visiting because it's a movie theater/restaurant type place and the only one in the area. His flirtations got more intense after I quit. He's always hugging on me lately (long, tight hugs), saying sexy things in my ear, referring to himself as my "boyfriend" and jokingly asked if I was cheating on him, etc. For some stupid reason, I was under the impression we were friends. 2 months ago, I messaged him on FB and asked if it was okay if he added me. He read it and didn't reply. He claimed he never got the message. He told me to re-send it and he would add me.

I re-sent the message and he read it and again, didn't reply or add me. He admitted to getting the message, but when asked why he wouldn't add me, he got nervous and kept changing the subject and walking away. I let it go for a little while because I didn't want to annoy him. Last Thursday night, I visited and we spent a few min. talking and he gave me 2 really good hugs. I friend requested him later that night. (cont.)
He didn't accept it or deny it right away. I messaged him Friday night and jokingly asked why he hates me so much that he won't add me. He read it, didn't reply. The next night, he marked the message as unread and denied my friend request. I wasn't totally upset, but kind of. This is where I get really upset. I viewed my friend Cassidy's FB today (she still works there) and they're friends on Facebook now!!! Why will he add HER, but not me? I ONLY want to be friends with him.
I know I have deep, deep feelings for him, but I've always figured if I can't have him, I don't mind being just friends with him. It's better than nothing at all. Unfortunately, he won't let me be friends with him, at least via Facebook and I don't know why.

[Brunette]

what a douchebag.. don't even waste your time on him hes playing games. just move on to a man that is NOT married

[Gina]

I think he's playing with you, but this just may be my opinion. I think you should distance yourself from him. If he's married, he shouldn't be flirting with you and leading you on. That's close to being unfaithful to his wife and unfair to you because you've got feelings for him and you can't have him. So if you want to avoid upsetting his wife and family, and getting yourself into a big mes(not being mean here) you should tell him to stop gently but firmly and just avoid him until your feelings cool. It will hurt for while but I think that you'd be better off without him.

[swbarnes2]

What do you want people to tell you? That you behaved morally? Intelligently? You can't be that stupid. He is a filthy cheat, and you enjoyed his attentions.

What answer would you give to the wife if she were here, begging for someone to help her?

[Ariesgurl]

He is not getting attention at home and with u He knows you like him ..he might want to have an affair with u but is scared . Its in his mind. He thinks about it but is to scared to act on it. He prob won't add u on fb because his wife is on there. He knows u like him and u might say flirty things on there and she will c. Your friend is not a threat . He doesnt want her. So she won't say things that would weird to the wife.

[Bentley]

It is IMPOSSIBLE to be friends with someone when you have a crush on them. Move on. Don't go back to the job or send ANY communication with him until the crush is completely OVER.

[April]

He's toying with you. He won't add you because he doesn't want to change you slipping up or posting on his wall and his wife asking. That's my guess. You never want a man that acts like your a secret plus he is a cheat and a dirty excuse for a husband. You don't need him. He will do the same to you if you ever did get him to divorce. RUN!!!

[Hurricain]

He's married. You want him, and he knows it. Do you REALLY just not understand why he won't add you as a friend on Facebook? BECAUSE HE DOESN'T WANT HIS WIFE TO KNOW ABOUT YOU, or BECAUSE HIS WIFE ALREADY KNOWS ABOUT YOU AND WOULD CUT HIS DICK OFF IF HE ADDED YOU. It's obviously one of those two reasons. Sum them both up and say IT IS BECAUSE OF HIS WIFE.

He was able to add your mutual friend Cassidy because CASSIDY DOES NOT CLEARLY DEMONSTRATE THAT SHE'S IN LOVE WITH HIM. The wife doesn't see Cassidy as a threat.

Find a new hobby. Find a new, AVAILABLE man to obsess over. When you do have a boyfriend, don't you want it to be one that you don't have to share with a WIFE, one that you KNOW you will always be SECOND CHOICE behind?

Why would any woman act the way you do?

[elizabeth]

Do yourself a favor.. let him go. Move on. You don't need him.

[Shakira]

Hello? He isn't adding you because his wife is on there and his family! He doesn't know whether or not you might tell her. . Why are you pushing this anyway just get away while you can don't get sucked into this. .. find a man who is available don't get attached to someone else's he will never be yours. Being friends will just make it harder. Now you don't work there you have no reason to see him or talk to him move on. You are just seeing yourself up for more pain...