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Can anybody please check my English?
04-28-2014, 10:37 AM
Post: #1
Can anybody please check my English?
Dear native English speakers,

I wrote the essay below as a practice and want to know if anything is wrong.

I know this is a little lengthy, so if you can point out even some mistakes that will be great!

Thank you so much in advance.
==============================

I think the most effective way to advertise a new product is advertising it on the internet rather than handing out flyers or displaying a poster in a store window.

It is simply because online advertisements can approach the broadest range of audience. Those in- person approaches are only available for people who pass by the person who is distributing the flyers or the store that the poster is hanged.

But the amount of people that the online advertisements can reach is unlimited. Not only that we can put the advertising on widely used websites such as Facebook so it is automatically shown to tons of people, but also it will independently spread even broader once it is put online.

For instance if one finds a product that this person’s friend might also like, he or she can copy the link and share it with the friend instantly. And the friend may also share the link to other friends. And it can keep going since it is so easy to share the information of the product.

In addition, when people want to learn more about the product like the specifications, price, and stores that carry it, all those information are available online so he or she can check it at anywhere anytime.

I also think online advertisements can be very cost effective. If you want, you can literally start it for free. All you have to do is posting the advertising on major social networking services and it still can be shared widely if it is interesting in some way.

Although handing out flyers and displaying a poster in a store window are still good advertising methods, they cannot beat the convenience and the unlimited possibility of the online advertisement that I mentioned above.

That is why I believe online advertisement is the most effective way to advertise a new product as compared with the flyers and posters.

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04-28-2014, 10:46 AM
Post: #2
 
*That* is simply because online advertisements can *reach* the broadest *audience.* In-person promotions (I think that's what you're trying to say?) are only available for people who pass by the person who is distributing the flyers or the store *where* the poster is *displayed.*

But the amount of people that the online advertisements can reach is unlimited. Not only that we can put the advertising on widely used websites such as Facebook so it is automatically shown to *a lot of* (tons of people is colloquial you wouldn't use it in an essay) people, but *it will also* independently spread even *further* once it is put online.

For instance if *someone* finds a product that *this person’s* (or *their*) friend might also like, he or she can copy the link and share it with the friend instantly. (if at all possible, don't start a sentence with 'and') *The* friend *might* also share the link *with* ('to' is possible if you think about facebook, but 'with' sounds better in an essay) other friends. *From there* it can keep going since it is so easy to share the information of the product.

In addition, when people want to learn more about the product like the specifications, price, and stores that carry it, all *that* (there REALLY is not plural xD) information *is* available online so he or she can check *it anywhere,* anytime.

I also think online advertisements can be very cost effective. If you want, you can literally start *advertising* for free. All you have to do is *post* the advertisement on major social networking services and *it can be* shared widely if it is interesting in some way.

Although handing out flyers and displaying a poster in a store window are still good advertising methods, they cannot beat the convenience and *unlimited possibilites* of the online advertisement that *is* mentioned above.

That is why I believe online advertisement is the most effective way to advertise a new product as compared *with flyers* and posters.

keep in mind that not all corrections were actual 'mistakes' - mostly it just helps the flow of the text.

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04-28-2014, 10:47 AM
Post: #3
 
I think the most effective way to advertise a new product is to advertise it on the internet rather than handing out flyers or displaying a poster in a store window.

It is simply because online advertisements can approach the broadest range of audiences. Those in- person approaches are only available for people who pass by the person who is distributing the flyers or the store in which the poster is displayed. (You can say hung, only humans are hanged – by the neck until dead)

Do not start a sentence with a preposition NEVER start a paragraph wit ha preposition. Besides, there is no link between the previous paragraph and this one, so “But is totally irrelevant.

The amount of people that the online advertisements can reach is unlimited. Not only can we put the advertising on widely used websites such as Facebook so it is automatically shown to tons of people, but also it will independently spread even broader once it is put online.

For instance if one finds a product that this person’s friend might also like, he or she can copy the link and share it with the friend instantly. And the friend may also share the link to other friends. And it can keep going since it is so easy to share the information of the product.

In addition, when people want to learn more about the product like the specifications, price, and stores that carry it, all this information is available online so he or she can check it from anywhere, at any time.

I also think online advertisements can be very cost effective. If you want, you can literally start it for free. All you have to do is post the advertising on major social networking services and it then can be shared widely if it is interesting in some way.

Although handing out flyers and displaying a poster in a store window are still good advertising methods, they cannot beat the convenience and the unlimited possibility of the online advertisement that I mentioned above.

That is why I believe the online advertisement is the most effective way to advertise a new product as compared with the flyers and posters.
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