I feel unattractive and envy others?

[Iratebaseball779]

I've been feeling really down lately, to the point of crying because I feel like I can't tell anyone how I feel. When I was younger I didn't care about my looks and now at 14 I'm starting to feel as though I really am ugly. I know I'm not so pose to envy other girls and, I should just go on life not caring what people think but it's so hard for me to do. I see tumblr/Instagram models and their all so pretty I try putting on the makeup they use and I look horrible. I feel really insecure but I try to have a front and act like I'm not which makes me feel pathetic. One day in my class people were talking about my appearance and this one girl said "eeeew she's ugly". I envy older girls as well I wish I was 16,17 or 18 I had a crush on this junior his attitude would change when he talked to other girls mainly pretty Caucasian girls. I come around and he changes his attitude. I feel like he also thought I was ugly but didn't want to tell me when he rejected me. The popular girls in my High school or the tumblr/Instagram models that I see are all Caucasian. I know it's wrong for me to talk about race in this but I'm African American and I feel ugly compared to them, when I was younger I had really long hair. My hair was cut and I wish it never happened. I was even told that African American women are the most undesirable race of women. (Please no rude comments I don't intend to offend anyone I just need help)

[Mo Ney]

good for you

[Rumplefutz13]

I'm white and think a lot of black girls look waaaaaaaaaaaaaayyy better than I do lol race is nothing, maybe at your school it is if your a minority but that doesn't mean your ugly. A lot of white guys prefer to stay in there race and are attracted to white girls, but again that does not mean your ugly. Find some confidence girl!

[Brian]

Well for one thing people photoshop pictures on the internet.. Even iPhones autocorrect skin imperfections nowadays... So there's that

[Cephalopod]

I'm going to tell you what I told a friend of mine, I'll paste it here and maybe it'll help:

I've been insecure too and pretty much everyone else too.
But no matter what others will always judge, not always in a bad way and it's not always as voluntary as you think,for example speculating whether somone is extroverted,they walk confidently,they're around alot of people, you can judge that they're an extrovert but you will never know their personality/past just by their outward manner and appearance, only a little piece of it.
I mean us humans are social animals and are very complex regarding socities/relationships relative to other animals. We pick up on social cues, little hints on one's face/posture to see how's their feeling, we can catch other's feelings like seeing someone else cry makes you want to cry.
What I can tell you is you change for yourself, for what's best and most comfortable to you, changing for the sake of others because they think you're this or that or putting on a mask in the end, that just covers things up and it hurts.
There are certain things that you cannot change naturally even if you tried like the length of your fingers or your face shape. Try to accept that and like embrace your face? and appearance?
Hey, that rhymes. you sexy m8.
To be honest, even though I know I should be myself and everyone is told to be themselves, I've fallen into the trap a couple times, "Wow, I think I should change. I should do this or that." because I'm afraid of other's reactions or if they'll think I'm arrogant.etc
Maybe find what triggers these insecure thoughts/feelings?
And try to reassure or evaluate yourself, like me with trying to be more considerate to people, I ask myself "Maybe I should pay attention more and give them more of an insight on stuff." or "Should I offer seats to people more?" and I try to make myself have flashbacks so I can evaluate if I actually need this, do I actually need to change?
And if I feel bad for being awkward or how I act, I try to think back and reassure myself, like "It's okay, I'm only human, I did this and-"
Try not to beat yourself up for it, be nice to yourself.
I too wonder what others think of me, just out of curiosity not because I'm insecure about whether they like me.
There are people that are going to love me, hate me, feel indifferent, I don't care anymore whether someone hates me because I'm me, it's not nice to do that but, it's not worth my time trying to change for them, I pay attention to those who truly think I'm worth the time and who treat me like I'm human.
Because there is no quintessential human in the world, no ideal human.
Nobody is perfect,nothing is perfect, we all have our mini-contradictions, we all have quirks, faults.etc
Striving for perfection, an example would be getting everyone to like/agree with you, is virtually impossible.

[anonymous]

I'm sorry you feel this way. You can't really be upset with other people for not finding you attractive though. Maybe you haven't noticed, but YOU don't like the way you look either.

I think you need to accept that you are not one of "those models". Stop trying to look like THEM because you never WILL look like them. My advice to you is to STOP trying to be something you are not. Stop being so shallow!!! You should work on loving yourself for who you are on the inside, not just how you look. You do not need a face make-over, you need a personality make-over. I know I sound rude, but I am saying this to help you. Do not be seen just for your looks! Be smart, be funny, be creative. Do something amazing that makes people look at you and think, "wow, she is beautiful".

[Anika]

Awww poor baby. Get over yourself. I cannot believe that at 14 you don't know many of the images you see on Instagram or on any website really, are 100% photoshopped. The people you hang out with, your teachers, mom, even YOU, are all real people. You need to focus on making your personality beautiful.

[Sunflowers12919]

I had this problem too actually (just look through one of my previous Y!A questions). I'm Asian and I always felt inferior to pretty Caucasian girls. You need to know that this is not true. Everybody is pretty in their own ways and being pretty does not always mean everything (I realized this the hard way). Just because you're pretty, it doesn't necessarily mean that you will be successful. I think you're beautiful and that you just need to realize it and gain confidence. I know it may feel that pretty Caucasian girls are always desired by everyone but this is untrue. I knew a lot of guys who preferred Asians or African Americans or any other race over Caucasian girls. Be true to yourself, love your skin, and accept who you are. I suggest you start looking up to African American role models to be more comfortable with who you are. I used to look up to those pretty Caucasian tumblr models and then I stopped and started looking up to Asian role models and I felt a whole lot better because it made me realize that there are beauty in every race, gender, and people. Love yourself because you are you. You are unique! You are real and tangible. Those girls on the Internet are often photoshopped and they don't look nearly half as good as they do without make-up. Stay true to yourself and never lose confidence! Trust me, you look 10000% more beautiful when you're confident!